The world has changed a lot since Covid has descended upon it. We are still trying to get used to the ideas of social distancing and wearing masks. Our past times have changed, as well. Gone are the days of going out to the bars in large groups and drinking until the wee hours of the morning. Here in Cleveland, the bars now close at 11 and are stop serving alcohol by 10 pm. For some, it has even caused a change in our sex lives. It is hard to maintain social distancing while tricking in the local hook-up spot. But have no fear, there are things that you can do and still take care of those urges.
The good folks over at Prepster created a lovely infographic about various ways you can navigate your sexual appetites living during coronapocalypse. Check out their link here, How To Have Sex These Days. Its a common sense thing but the one that sticks out to me the most and is my most favorite is finding a lockdown fuck buddy. After all, your chances of exposure increase with the more people you are around. Finding a special someone to spend a few weeks with and enjoy some sexual chemistry can help cure the depression that comes from being stuck in your house with little social contact. Which leads to the point of this blog and another safe way of navigating these times.
But why stop there. Mutual masturbation is a great way to share some of your likes and dislikes. And it’s also a great way to show how to navigate the territory. Now I know what you’re saying, that would seem embarrassing. Should it be? I mean you are dropping trou and climbing into the bed with them, after all. Please do not tell me you are doing it 1950s style with separate beds and the lights off? It’s the 21st century, it is time to share in the beauty of your body. If you want to know more about masturbation numbers and why you shouldn’t feel shame over it, check out my post Spanking the Monkey or Flicking the Bean.
Okay, so you’re actually wondering what mutual masturbation is. It is exactly as it sounds, you and a partner masturbating in front of one another. Like I said, what better way to share with your partner what turns you on or how to get you going than doing it in front of them. Plus it is also a way to spice up your repertoire. Sure, you may be thinking why would you need to masturbate if you are in a relationship. Or if you’re naked with your partner, why jerk off when they can take care of your needs? There are plenty of reasons to share this intimate pleasure with your partner. Let me share a few of them.
1. It’s Kinkier to Watch
While we are dishing tea on what we “actually” do behind closed doors, we can also admit to one another that we watch porn. And watching someone get themselves off is one of the highest-rated porn genres. Many of us fantasize about being able to catch a peak of someone pleasuring themselves. If you have someone in your life, you know have the ability to watch without fear of getting arrested. For me, looking into my partner’s eyes while they pleasure themselves is hotter and more intense than sex. Having them watch me gives the rush of being spied upon, safely. And it’s also a great build-up to the main show.
2. Not In The Mood Syndrome
We have all been there. It has been a long day at work and you aren’t feeling up to being all sexy, but your partner’s revved up and ready to run hot. The mutual masturbation lane is perfect for that. You can give them encouraging words and talk about how hot they look. You’re still connecting and being a supportive lover. It’s a good compromise when your libidos are not quite on the same level.
3. It’s Safer Sex
Corona has definitely gotten us down and can prevent us from being with others in our ideal ways. Mutual Masturbation allows us to share in our sexuality but in a much safer manner. You can add to the mystique by wearing sexy masks or something a bit more fetish. You both get together, get naked, and share in some close sexy fun. It’s less risk of catching STIs and reduces the chances of spreading Corona. It is not perfect, mind you. Skin to skin contact can still pass many STIs, HPV for example. And be careful with any fluid transmissions, as they are dangerous. If you are going to share toys, make sure that you are using a fresh condom when exchanging them.
4. Hulu and a Hand Job
So you both are in for a cozy night on the couch streaming your favorite shows. What better way to while away the hours and shows than to tease yourself in front of your couch mate. You can progress as slow as you feel, without any real goal in sight. Enjoying each other’s company and pleasure. It’s a great way to unwind the day, talk, and be together. Cuddle up together and slowly move your hands across your bodies while being close.
You can see some good reasons to try it out with your bae, but how do you bring that subject up to them? The good news is there are many ways. Let’s go with the most basic reason. There are plenty of health reasons that can cause an issue wit having sex. Many people try to soldier through it to make their partners feel satisfied. This isn’t safe or fair to all involved. Mutual masturbation can be a great way to be intimate and not worry about physical discomfort that may come from penetrative sex.
Aside from that, it can be a bit challenging to bring the subject up. After all, we’re taught that masturbation is a solo act while sex is a shared experience. So, start with basic communication. Frame it in a way that shows them how excited you are about sharing that experience with them. Bolster their confidence. Discuss how you want it to happen, Do you want to watch, offer a helping hand, or only sneak peeks from afar? Where will you be in relation to the person, which positions, and such? Talking about it can also help ease any reluctance you both may have over the idea. And remember, ease into it gradually. There is no need to rush this if either of you feels uncomfortable.
If you both agree, the sky is the limit for the experiences you can share. For added fun, you can do it with the lights off or blindfolded to help ease into the scenario. This can give its own air of mystique. You only have your sense of hearing to tell you what’s going on and feeling any movements close to you. From there you can move to no blindfold and a little light or wherever you feel more comfortable.
You can also use porn to help set the mood, add toys for added excitement, or even turn it into some kind of a game. I would suggest that you don’t turn it into a spectacle or put on a show. Keep it about sharing the intimacy of it. This isn’t a porn scene, so there is no reason to think you have to mimic what you see in those videos or do awkward poses. This is for sharing how you get off. Do you do it laying on your stomach and using something to help get you there? Or do you prefer sitting in a chair that allows you a bit of a recline? The intensity comes from sharing the intimate ways in which you make yourself feel good. It’s about sharing your pleasure with someone you trust.
This is an intimate act and one you are choosing to share with someone. Remember that you can stop at any time if you feel uncomfortable. Don’t judge your partner if they cant get into it. If it’s right for you both, it is a great addition to your bedroom activities. Don’t be afraid to share yourself with others, it’s all about communication and respect. Get out there and have fun, safely.