Lubing Up To Get Into Tight Spots

As LGBTQ people, we don’t always have role models that speak to our types of love and sex. Often, we are left to make the rules up as we go and rules can  be such a triggering world. They imply hard and fast, black and white rules. We already live in a world where we know all things are not quantified as binary. As such, we often are left floundering around a bit when it comes to sex.You are probably thinking that you got right to it once it came down to it. But did you really know everything from the onset or did you fake it until you made it. Chances are, you had a lot to learn as well. Being gay men offers its own unique challenges, when it comes to sex So lets take a look at Lubing Up To Get Out Of Tight Spots.

Dont stop me now

Let’s be honest here, for a moment. Heterosexual sex offers a natural benefit that we as gay men just simply do not have an option of, natural lubrication. While the anal cavity does produce its own lubrication, it is not enough for enjoyable sexual activity. Get this part down… you need lube for anal sex, period. Not lubricating can cause internal tears that can lead to various kinds of infections and most importantly unenjoyable sex.

Using enough lube can help reduce the pain felt during penetration, as it adds more of a glide factor while reducing friction. You might say, “well, I just use spit. It’s readily available in a pinch and it works.” Sure, spit can be good for a quick jerk off but it is hardly functional as a lubricant for sex. After all, it dries out quickly and is barely slick enough for that good and deep penetration you are looking for. You want less friction so you aren’t exposing yourself to anal tears or fissures.

Lube also has an added benefit of reducing the chances of condoms breaking or slipping off during sex. It adds that extra slick layer between the condom and anus so that it can penetrate smoothly, without all the extra friction. Remember an important fact, if it hurts while doing it, stop and apply more lube. This will help with the pain and ensure you’re not inflicting damage on the other person.

Live, love, and lube

Lube can be used by anyone and for anything. Even outside of sex, lube can be beneficial for making anything fit if it is slightly tight. It is also great for solo activity. It is beneficial in edging so you can work on how long you last. 

It can help enhance pleasure. Most people think the only time you need it is if its a bit dry doing what you do best. But it is just as useful to use it from the beginning as it can help heighten pleasure for both people. Add to it the various flavor options and it opens up avenues for oral sex. You even have lube that offers warming or cooling options that create their own unique temperature pleasure sensations. There is even lube that mixes in desensitizing properties to help you last longer. Add some extra lube when using condoms to give a more natural slick feel. 

You give lube a bad name

Just as there are many reasons to use lube, there are just as many for making sure you use the correct kind of lube. There are things that simply should not be used as lube. We already said spit is a big no-no. However, Vaseline and baby oil are others that should be skipped as lube options. Both contain chemicals that aren’t meant to come in contact with your internal body. Even worse is that the oil used on both breaks down condoms rather quickly and easily. This increases your chance of getting and spreading STIs and HIV.

Statistics show that gay men still have difficulties when it comes to using and practicing good condom usage. Gay men aren’t taught very well how to use or what lubricants to use when. We need to stop and look at the options for increasing prevention education and to tailor it to our specific needs. We are taught about gay sex in schools and because it is treated as such a taboo subject, we internalize that to mean it isnt acceptable to talk about it. This has the negative effect of carrying over to our adult lives in which we think we know enough to be safe, when in fact we only know enough to be extremely dangerous to ourselves and out partners. 

It puts the lotion on its skin

Is there a right and wrong way to use lube? 

While, technically, there is no wrong way, there are a few things to keep in mind that can make the whole process of applying and when to apply more easy.The most important part is to choose the correct lube for the situation. Make sure that it is compatible with condoms, if you are using them. Make sure the person doesn’t have any allergies to the type you are using.

When in doubt, use more. Apply lube generously to both you and your partner. Again make sure it is safe for internal usage. If you are applying it to your penis, it still needs to be considered if its safe for internal use. After all, the opening on your penis does expose your insides to the world.

Most important part is to get lube where it is needed when it is needed, That means on the penis and deep inside. The best news is there is a host of lube injectors that will help you get that lubrication where it is needed most so you don’t see yourself getting stuck in a messy situation. 

The choice is yours

Now that we know why lube is important, it’s time to discuss which is best for the situation. Did you just get confused? Did you think all you needed was some type of lube and you’re as good as done? No, there are almost as many types of lube as there are people in the world. Each has unique properties and recipes to make them what they are. You need to be able to tailor what you use to what you need at the time. 

Remember that all lubes are not created equal…

Essentially, there are three types of lubes you should be concerned with. Silicone, water-based,and oil-based. Each reacts with things differently and has different textures for different situations. Does it all sound confusing? At first yes, but we are going to make it much simpler. Stay tuned to the end for a few recommendations of lubes for your bedside table.

Water soluble or water-based lubes are the easiest to clean up. It says it right in the title, add a bit of water and you can clean up quickly. Water-based lubes work great with latex condoms, toys, and gloves. It will not break any of them down, which would increase your risk of exposure to STIs. The bad side of water based is that they tend to be absorbed by the anus very quickly. This means you will be stopping more often to reapply. This can be frustrating in the moment. And no one wants to be going balls to the wall when your water-based lube turns sticky as it’s absorbed. There are options for powder based water-soluble lubes that hold up longer and allow for deeper play.

Silicone lubes tend to be more slick and last longer but they are one of the hardest to clean up. Ask anyone with satin sheets what silicone lube can do to them. Even worse, if you prefer to have a bit of play in the shower, silicone lube can turn dangerous very quickly. The biggest thing you need to worry about is that silicone lube is not designed to be used with silicone items. That means do not use it with condoms or silicone toys. It will start to break them down quickly and cause them to break. P.S. do not ever spill it on a hardwood floor. It will ruin the floor and worse, it will never come up completely.

Oil based lubes are great for minimizing friction while maximizing endurance. There is a reason why so many classic gay porns show a jar of Crisco sitting somewhere in view of the camera. Crisco and vegetable oils are some of the best for reducing the possibility of harm during deep anal play. Like their silicone counterparts, their oil base breaks down condoms and silicone toys. So if you play to use them, maybe switch to a nitrile glove or glass toys. 

Slippery when wet

Hopefully you have seen how important lube is for sex and you have some ideas of what kinds to use and when. What are some good types or brands that you can use? If you use silicone lube, there are ways to make sure you get the lube where it needs to go without using injectors. Some companies make lube capsules that ensure you get that lube exactly where you need it to be. Just remember that most of those need about 15 minutes before they are fully effective. 

Let’s jump back a second, you may be wondering did I actually say ‘lube injector?’ Yes, you read it correctly, a lube injector. Think syringe but used for getting lube in those hard to reach places. It works great for quick easy application if your lube is starting to wear out and best of all, minimal downtime or distraction. Just preload it before you start, when the friction picks up, shoot its shot and get back to it,. 

As for types to use, here is a short list of the types we have talked about. If you prefer a water-based lube, why not try a powder lube. Yes, thats right a powder base for water-based lube. It comes in a container like baby powder does but you mix a little water with it and it becomes super slick and longer lasting than your typical tube of water-based. Want to try one, look for J-Lube or Fist Pounder.

If you are looking for more lube options and helpful information on how to best use them, then head on over to Down and Dirty. They are your one stop shop for your sexual fetish needs and supplies

If you prefer silicone based, Gun Oil is one of the best on the market. If you have a military fetish, it will intrigue you to know that it was created by a military person for cleaning and ensuring their firearms worked when needed,

If you prefer the older oil based options, Crisco and vegetable oils like olive oil are some of the best around. Crisco and coconut oil have the added benefit of coming as a solid, so it will stay where you put it and turn to oil as it warms. Thus, making sure what you need to be slick is slick when you need it. Your place to find all the information you need for your darker desires without the worry of any judgment for your personal kinks. These guys know what you want and tell you the best way to do it. Check them out.

Slip sliding away

Lube is a fundamental part of the gay man’s sexual repertoire but it also seems to be the topic least is known about. Many of us seem to continue using the same lotion we used as lube in our childhood quick jerk settings and think it will serve us in our more rigorous endeavors.  The sad truth is we need as many types of lube as we do jockstraps and poppers, different one for different parties. Thankfully, there are easy ways to remember how and what lube to use. Silicone lube does not match with silicone toys and condoms, just like stripes and plaids rarely go together. If you are playing it safe, stay water-based as it will not stain your sheets and is a quick clean up for a hurried get away.

What lubes do you use and why? Do you still use the same lotion you did as a teenager? Are you a spit only kind of guy? Let me know your thoughts about the slick topic in the comments below. Share your thoughts and what your favorite brands are. I am always on the lookout for a new substance for my slip and slide.