In a fairly recent study 72% of the men involved stated they felt they come too quickly during sex. All men look for ways to last longer,  to prolong pleasure, and control the compulsion to blow their load  while being intimate with their partners. After all, sex is about pleasure and intimacy, though many of us find it to be a source of anxiety and self-consciousness. 

Are you wanting to find ways to last longer in bed? Well you’re not alone. A simple Google search of how to last longer in bed returns approximately 1,250.000.000 results. It is easy to see that many men find this an important enough topic to research and that is why the first several results are ads for various pills to help in that department. We each want to last longer whether its for our own personal self worth or because we want to make sure we are pleasing our partners as much as ourselves. Let’s take a look at 6 Ways To Last Longer In Bed.

Sexual Healing

It can be embarrassing to experience a moment of premature ejaculation. We see movies, articles and comedians making fun of a very serious topic. It is an experience that can shake a man to his very foundation. What most men don’t realize is that it is a common problem and can be medical related. Premature ejaculation effects 3 in every 4 men at some point in their lives. When you are younger, it can stem from overexcitement or inexperience, even age can play a role in it. 

Somewhere, men have been given this idea of how long sex should last, how long before we orgasm, and what it should be like. Where does this idea stem from? In most cases, the only experience we have with how long it should or should not take comes from porn. We only even see the finished product of that filming and not the countless hours and reshoots (pardon the pun) it takes to achieve them. That gives us the impression that if we are supposed to be some kind of stud in bed that we need to last for hours at a time. So what is considered an average ejaculation time is highly skewed. The only real measure we have is how long it takes to achieve orgasm when we are masturbating or what our peers claim is their normal. 

A study conducted of men in five countries to see if an average time could be assessed and interviewed men who had no medical reason for premature ejaculation. It found that 75% of men who didn’t have premature ejaculation syndrome, orgasmed in four minutes after the moment of penetration, 25% reached orgasm before four minutes. This shows that premature ejaculation isn’t about the length of time till orgasm. In fact, premature ejaculation is defined by the World Health Organization as not lasting long enough to enjoy sex or ejaculating before you are hard enough to penetrate your partner.

I want your sex

The Journal of Sexual Medicine conducted a study with a group of sex therapists to see how long they think sex should last. The results were a bit shocking. Those therapists stated that 1 – 2 minutes of sexual penetration was “too short” and 10-30 minutes was “too long.” What was more surprising was that 3-7 minutes was found to be a good amount of time but 7-13 minutes was more desirable. 

So much for thinking you should go all night.

Everyday we are surrounded by images, articles, and more that tell us we need to last for hours. This sexual mythology is mostly thanks to mass produced porn and locker room talk. There are very few polarizing things in our lives like sex. It can be the most enjoyable pleasure we feel or the most anxiety-inducing experience ever. Once that anxiety sets in, it leads to other negative thoughts like “am I big enough,” “am I doing it right,” and ultimately “am I lasting long enough.” The appropriate answers to these questions, respectively, are Ask your partner, yes, and more than likely. Communicate with your partner, what do they think.

Sex is not meant to go on for hours on end. The human body simply isn’t designed for that. Men can only keep the blood supply moving to their member for so long before the body decides it’s needed somewhere else. Also, the body can only take being in positions for so long before it becomes uncomfortable and a break needs to happen.Then there is the longevity of lube, most break down rather quickly and cause for a need to reapply. So the real answer is that sex should only last as long as you and your partner want it. If you haven’t asked them their opinion, then you truly do not know if it is or isn’t long enough. 

An important tidbit to remember is that you should not rate your sex life against anyone else’s or on past relationships. It is about the time you spend with your current partner and what you both are feeling. Don’t let someone else’s ideals make you feel bad about your own experiences. 

Let’s put the X in sex

You see that there is no real set “time” for how long sex should last. But here you are, still wondering how you can last longer for you and/or your partner. You have tried things like switching positions to thinking about Renee Zellweger but it always comes down to the more you think about it the quicker it comes.  (pardon another pun)

You and your partner have decided you would like to go longer but don’t want to resort to seeking medical help to get there, so what can you do? No worries, Here are 6 Ways To Last Longer.

6. Edging/biofeedback

We all know what edging is, there are countless videos on countless websites showing guys edge themselves for hours at a time. But it is one of the best ways to train yourself and your dick to last a bit longer. Your penis is like many muscles, the more you work with it, the more you can train it to behave in certain ways.

To achieve this, grab some good lube – something that won’t turn sticky or absorb quick, this will help reduce chafing and friction for extended times. Once lubed and ready, start bringing yourself towards the point of orgasm but stopping just before you release. Keep repeating again and again. The longer you can hold out, the longer you will be able to hold out in the future.

Forget all those old wives tales about going blind from masturbation, self-love is an important and needed expereince of our lives. This type of action is called biofeedback and can definitely help you last longer. Learning to focus on how your body reacts and the feelings you get along the way help you recognize when you want to slow down or back off. You will be surprised that your body reacts accordingly. Don’t forget to bring toys into your edging situations. Toys like a Fleshjack are great for helping out with edging and stamina building.

5. Partner comes first

Our partner’s needs are as important as our own, that should be the first lesson any of us learn about sex.Taking the time to explore your partner, arouse them, and getting them off first can be like the appetizers to the meal to come. That doesn’t mean you focus on them until they get off them and go at it full swing. Instead, if you know you have a tendency to get off first or before your partner is ready, take a break from your needs and focus on them. That lets you cool down some while you stoke their fires. It also has the added bonus of gaining you some extra points for focusing on their needs and not just the grunt and thrust that is often so common.

4. More Foreplay

Building off number 5, let’s look at foreplay. All too often, we meet a guy and decide we want to hook up. Once we are alone, the first thing we do is strip and jump in bed. The question is, are you a get right to it guy or do you prefer to take the scenic route. If you didn’t answer the latter, then you are doing it wrong. 

Foreplay adds the benefit of working your partner up to a frenzy to match where you are and, hopefully, getting them ready to blow with you. Fingerplay, oral sex, or simply asking your partner what they prefer is a great way to keep that orgasm at bay a bit longer. It also has the added benefit of increasing sexual satisfaction.

3. Condoms FTW

Okay, I shouldn’t have to say this. STIs are still out there and many are making comebacks. This should be the first thing you do if you are sexually active, especially if you prefer multiple partners. Condoms also provide a desensitizing layer between you and your partner. If you are looking for brands to help with this, Durex and Trojan both make a version that is thicker to help you last longer.

There is an urban myth that has been around for a long time that says wearing two or more condoms helps lower risk of infection of STIs and improves performance, actually it’s the opposite. Doubling condoms increase the chances of them tearing or breaking during intercorse and also an increased chance of them slipping off. 

2. Numbing creams

Maybe you can’t wear latex condoms and are allergic to other variations. Maybe you and your partner have decided that barebacking is your preferred method, so condoms aren’t an option. The good news is that there are a plethora of numbing creams on the market. If you aren’t familiar, numbing creams reduce the sensitivity of the head of your penis so you don’t feel as stimulated. Think of it as a local anesthetic for your hard member. 

Word of caution, if you are unsure if you are allergic to anything in those creams, it is best to try it out by yourself first so there are no surprises. Most of these creams are not designed for internal usage, so you may still need to wear a condom to make sure they have no adverse effects on your partner.

1. What’s up doc

So you have went through this list, heeded the advice and conducted research on your own but you still think your orgasm is premature, what is your next choice? This may be the time to swallow your fears and talk to your doctor. Your doctor has heard it all and even spent money to go to school to learn everything about the human body, so there is no reason to be ashamed. Remember, about 3 out of 4 men suffer from the same issue. 

They have medications and treatments that can help with your fears. If you are too nervous to bring it up to your regular doctor, you can also bring it up the next time you head out to the sexual health center for your HIV and STI screening. These medical professionals deal with sexual health daily and that gives you the added benefit of anonymity. 

Quick Draw McGraw

Premature ejaculation is a condition that affects many men, mostly it is a misconception of how long it should take for a man to achieve orgasm. Like myths around penis size, our views are shaped by what surrounds us. What we should be more focused on is how we and our partners are enjoying sex together. It is time to stop and check in with them to see if they share the same thoughts we do. If you both feel you can last longer, then there are options out there to help you achieve that goal.

What are your thoughts on how long you or your partners last during sex? Is it as important as the pleasure you feel or is it tied to that pleasure? What steps do you take to last longer and how have they worked for you? Let me know in the comments below. If they are different that what I presented here, they could show up in a future article. At best, they may help someone else who is struggling with their own thoughts of inadequacy.