Everyday we are told conflicting stories. “You need to listen to your inner voice, its smart.” “Stop listening to the voices in your head, they get you in trouble.” Which is true and why is one more important than the other? How do you know or learn the difference?

What if I told you what you have been told this whole time is not entirely correct? What if we really don’t understand these two voices and where they come from?

Today we will discuss what those voices are and how to distinguish them apart so you can learn that Your Intuition Is Your Guide.

Dueling voices

Everyday we have an inner monologue. That monologue seems to range from being derogatory to yourself to giving you the best advice possible. From the outside it sounds as if it is one voice telling us what to think, do, act, or not, depending on the situation. That voice can be aggravating at times but there are others where that voice seems to be kind and uplifting to us.

The truth is that they are separate voices and come from separate places. Each of them are fed and thrive on different things and it’s those things that color their dialogue towards us. It can seem daunting as to which is more important or if it should be listened to. Some doctors will tell you to ignore one for the other. We hear that the more positive one needs to be nurtured and the negative ignored. But what are these voices and where do they come from?

These voices come from the same place, you… your mind. Those voices are Ego and Intuition and the difference is where they come from. They both have a lot to say and can be both safe and dangerous, depending on which you respond to.

Perhaps you have started a new job, bought a house with your significant other all while the world seems to be in and endless track of negativity. You may sit there and say things like “you have bitten off more than you can chew. This new house and job surely are not the best decisions you could make in these dark times.”

On the flip side, the other voice kicks in. “You have a great network of support, You are controlling all that is controllable and shouldn’t stress over the what-ifs since they haven’t happened. You are making good choices.”

These are examples of both of those voices and how they may interact with you.

What is your ego?

The psychiatric and medical community have both taught us that ego is related to self-confidence and bravado. Many times, it is given a bad rap.

Ego is a Latin word that roughly translates to ‘I.’ When you say things like “I want this” or “I want to do that,” what you actually mean is that your ego wants them, for whatever reason. Oftentimes, it is driven out of some perceived belief that it will increase your status or emotional feelings.

This can also be said for the phrase “I feel (insert emotion here). It can translate to – based on my experience level and, all that I know, and what I am seeing going on around me, I have a reason to feel this way. You might not know why you feel this way, but rest assured that your Ego does. And this voice is loud, louder than most others. Oftentimes, it is there to keep you safe. 

Think about a time when you were out with friends. You have that one friend that constantly talks over others and points out things about you and your environment. They often seem annoying and take fun out of the night. That is a real life example of how your ego operates. It wants to be heard, at all costs. It thinks it knows what’s right for you.

What is your Intuition?

What is your Intuition?Your intuition is the quieter person at your internal party. On the surface, it doesn’t sound any different than the other voice, that is because it comes from the same source. But it can make differentiating between them more difficult.

Your intuition wants to be heard but it’s like your quiet friend. It is heard better when the room is quiet and you want to listen to them. Otherwise, it gives soft advice and often wont intrude on the Ego, unless it is imperative. 

Intuition is the sense of knowing the right answer before you make it. The hard part is we don’t often trust its advice since it isn’t as loud or strong as our Ego.

How do you know you are listening to your intuition? That is a little easier to describe. If you have ever had a moment where you have said something like “I don’t know how I knew it, but I knew I needed to do this.” Or something like” It just felt right/wrong.” Those are the moments where your intuition guided you.

Which is right

The right voice is the one that breaks through less often. It is the quieter one, often whispering things like: “You are stronger than this, don’t give up.” Or “Have you looked at this situation in this way? What if you did?”

This again is your intuition talking, your gut. It wants your trust. It can get confusing when both voices are trying to talk at the same time.

How to identify which voice is speaking

1. If it answers quickly, without asking, noisy, or fast to react then it is the ego. If it is slower to speak and more quiet, then it is your intuition
2. Does it sound afraid or fearful, then it is your ego. It thinks its protecting you. If it is more light and freeing sounding, then it is your intuition.
3. If it gives you different and contrasting opinions in rapid fire, its your ego. The slow and steady, coming back to the same answer over and over, its your intuition
4. If it tries to justify its words, then it is ego driven. If it states the opinions and they just feel right, its your intuition. 
5. If it warns that a decision may have big negative fallouts for you, its ego. If it states it without thought of your pride or emotion, then it is your intuition.

It takes time, but you can start to learn to hear the differences in those voices.

Which should you listen to?

Modern wellness practices and psychologists often tell us that we need to ignore the inner voice that is always telling us bad things or putting us down. Do not listen to it if it instills doubt and creates negative judgments. You should, instead, focus on the positive voice. Nurture it’s loving and confident words.

The actual truth is that both have their place since they are both a part of you. What is true is how much attention we pay to them and learning how to distinguish between them. Your ego tries to get you to pay attention to a wounded aspect of you that needs your attention. You have to dig through the negativity to understand and repair that hurt. Now, that doesn’t mean what that voice is saying is true but it is a point of view, nonetheless. This is the very concept of shadow work. We will work more on this in future posts.

When Ego starts to spout its negativity, it is our job to acknowledge its dialogue and act on it. The better choice is to understand where it’s coming from but make a better choice. Try to figure out where that negativity is coming from.

Maybe you were talking to someone and after the conversation was through your mind is a flutter with the thoughts that you shouldn’t have said that one thing to them or maybe acted differently. You then take yourself down a road of second guessing what you said and how that person interpreted it. That is dangerous, as you don’t know what that person is actually thinking unless they tell you. What is going on is that your mind has switched to protective mode from some earlier experience you had where something you said was either taken the wrong way or created a negative situation. Your mind is trying to protect you from it and create an escape for you.

A better way to approach this is to try to find what underlying connection there is to this reaction. See what may be causing your feelings and work on addressing them. That will give you a chance to grow.

Your Inner voice

Whether you hear it or not, we all have an inner voice. Are you aware of it? Do you pay attention to it? We have at least two inner voices, one that softly whispers ideas and suggestions to you. And one that often puts you down or questions your decisions and actions.  It is the one that is trying to shut down and scream “You’re mad for making this choice!?” It warns you that you are stepping out of your comfort zone and this should be avoided at all costs. Even if you are left not living your dreams or manifesting your desires. 

Sadly, our ego is the one most of us are aware of and pay attention to. It is the loudest. The more gentle intuition is often ignored, if we hear it at all. We need to try to develop that intuition more, it has our best interests at heart. Our shadow voice or ego also has our welfare at heart but it tends to go for an overprotective mode of doing it.

You are probably saying tht there is nothing wrong with being protective and in some ways that is true. What is often more true is that the over-protective nature of the Ego limits us and will ultimately erode our well-being at our souls level. This is not good for our physical and emotional well being. Being unfulfilled in your soul can lead you to developing a general discontent and nagging feeling that something is wrong. It will affect your self-esteem, from here it will have an effect on your physical and mental health. But that is another article altogether.

Your intuition, on the other hand, can stretch you beyond your comfort zone, but never more than you can handle. It often challenges you and your beliefs and supports you at the same time. It prefers the gentle nudges towards the scariness as much as it nudges you to stop and rethink things.

Tune in and turn on

When you tune into your intuition and allow yourself to be guided by it you will be surprised at how much easier formerly assumed challenges will become. And how much good fortune lands in your lap (we call it synchronicity). And how good it feels to be at ease with yourself and your life experiences, even the ones you wouldn’t choose!

If you have never listened to your intuition, learning to will require time and patience. As you begin, you may be unsure if you are hearing your intuition or your ego (shadow voice). Using your intuition is like the physical muscles we have, if you don’t use it regularly you lose it.

I mentioned above how to tell the difference between your ego (shadow voice) and your intuition, but how do you get to know your intuition better? You can start by watching for hunches or feelings. Those ideas that crop into your mind, are they gentle, positive, and supportive? That is your intuition.

If it’s aggressive, domineering, or using scare-mongering tactics it’s more likely to be your shadow voice. If you’re getting a feeling of warning, is it a loud and threatening one? (shadow). Or an insistent knowing one? (intuition).

The scariest thing about trusting your intuition is that it isn’t based on logic or perceived logic. Many times, what your intuition suggests cannot be justified logically. But as you work with your intuition and start listening to it, you will learn that knowing the right thing to do is in its best interests. Soon, it will be easier to not listen as much to that shadow voice. To temper its words with caution and thought.

Developing trust

The key to developing this essential trust in one’s intuition is to start small. Don’t make life-changing decisions based on your intuition if you’re not familiar with it (you might still be confusing your two inner voices). Do ask your intuition to guide you with smaller decisions, and wait for the gentle knowing feeling to arrive. Remember that your intuition acts on its own time and is not quick to judge. Don’t expect an instant answer, but watch out, for it will come and you’ll know it when it does.

Over time, as you tune in more and more, you’ll find you suffer less and less with worry or anxiety. You’ll trust all will work out well, and often you’ll find it works out better than you could ever have imagined!

Ego vs. Intuition

We all have at least two voices in our minds. The two biggest are your Ego and Intuition. Do you listen more to your Ego or your Intuition? Let me know in the comments below. Have you already developed an understanding of your Intuition, if so how did you accomplish it? Let me know below. Learning to foster the more nurturing voice takes time and learning to temper the Ego with patience and thought can be just as challenging. Let me know what you thought of this article below. Remember, your journey could be the catalyst for someone else’s start down the road.