Dick, cock, manhood, schlong, dong, phallus, member, heat seeking moisture missile, wee wee, boner, danger noodle, woody, cum gun, pocket rocket, family jewels, skin flute, and yogurt hose. Yes, there is a plethora of words for the male member, all of which bring to mind some school yard setting of boys and jokes. We are taught the seat of men’s power is in the penis and the bigger the more power they have. Posturing happens most when you do not know what the other is packing and leaves us to constantly struggle with male power roles. Once a man disrobes in front of other men, the truth, as it were, comes out. We are both fascinated and fearful of penis.
Penis size relating to power is not a new concept, in fact it can be seen throughout history dating back to the Egyptians. Even more interesting is how desirable size has changed through the ages. But finding out specifically what penis size meant to individual cultures can be hard, as there is no real written record, at least until the Greco-Roman era. During this time, the preferred male member was delicate, small and uncircumcised. Shocked? Large penises were seen as uncivilized and driven by pleasures of the flesh. Smaller penises were related to being civilized and not driven by lustful urgings. Even more, uncircumcised was the preference, foreskin was preferred to me three quarters the length of the penis and seen as high beauty. Ancient India did not believe in a one size fits all penis. The went so far as to classify genitalia into three categories and based on the category there were specific types of women to be paired with. Endo-Japan had a preference to huge, uncircumcised, and veiny, we as during King Henry VIII reign in England was all about the bulge and perceived size. Check out the article at Bustle.com titled “the Ideal Penis In History, By Each Obsessed Culture.“
In an article at Medium.com Dr Vanessa Sinclair says, “When you think of the phallus in a metaphorical sense… its more about who has the power, who has the answer, who has what everyone is looking for. The reality, of course, is that no one has it. No one has the answer or the power, ultimately. They only do when others believe they do. As long as you are not fully exposed, you can keep people thinking that you have it.” We see it in the media, schools, movies that show prison shower rooms, and various other areas, that when you are naked you are at your most weak and vulnerable. We stand there in our full glory, fearing to be judged in our on preconceived notions. The funny thing is that we all, mostly, have the exact same fears. We only have our modesty or maybe a towel to hide behind and fear that the image of us and our “power” will be forever burned into the memory of those around us and the balance of power will forever be shifted to those that have a better body and larger member.
As young male kid, I don’t think I was fully prepared to be naked around other males, I don’t think any of us are. Our fathers don’t have conversations with us about the penis and how it doesn’t truly make a man. We often don’t get taught about the differences in male bodies. I remember being surrounded by images of large endowed men in porn, constant penis size jokes as a kid, and media reinforcing that bigger is better. We are taught that nudity is perverse and only to be done while changing clothes, bathing, and the like. By the time I reached middle school and had my first gym class and was forced to disrobe in front of the other boys, I was petrified. Standing there, trying my best to face away from everyone else and trying to change created levels of anxiety that I had never known. Stealing glances and seeing the various shapes and sized of other boys lead me to feeling inadequate. I already knew that I that I was different than most of the boys and I was totally afraid of being outed in the locker room. This was the very place where you were seen in your most vulnerable and then made fun of or looked up to, depending on what was seen. Those of us who tried to be overly modest and hide while showering or changing were made fun of as having small penises. Then you had the boys who felt they were more endowed that strutted around naked, swinging their schlongs in the faces of those bent over or sitting on benches.
Very quickly, I learned the power that came with the penis. With porn, we are shown that those being larger endowed are more desirable. Magazine showing monster cocks and people staring in awe at them. All of this creates a stigma to impressionable youth that bigger is normal and if you don’t measure up, you are inadequate. This was the fear I lived with until I got to college and starting being with men. In college the differentiation in penis size led me to see the socio dynamics of power more easily. The guys who paraded around the dorm naked swinging massive members had more friends with whom they joked, more sexual encounters, and over all treated differently. Those that were on the smaller (or perceived smaller) side, changed very hurriedly in the bathroom, never walked around naked, and usually looked at the ground when they passed those of larger proportions. This was when I really saw the perceived power of the penis.
If you want to see how much power it exerts over human population, just Google the word penis and you will get 501,000,000 results. And the results are mixed with findings about size or interesting facts you may not have known. Do a search on apps and dating sites and you will see plenty of terms like BWC(Big White Cock) and BBC(Big Black Cock) and how desirable hung is. We have terms describing men as Alphas or Bulls, suggestive to the size of their manhood. Function wise, nothing is different between a large or small penis and is only rudimentary in the definition of what is a biological or social male. The sheer amount of imagery and focus on such a small part of a person is what shapes our perceptions of ourselves and others. It is core to our perceptions of value and what is considered normal. Take for instance the continuing topic of what an average penis size is and how it relates to society. The human penis comes in a multitude of sizes and shapes, but it is only part of the reproductive system and would be worthless without the testes. With all of the shapes and such, there is not particular adaptation that should make the penis such a societal focus.
In our society, we use the penis as the primary indicator of what is considered masculine and the larger the member the more power said person is perceived to have. This is not indicative of what makes a man and the end result is that the perceived power is only important to the one who feels he has it or those that believe in the power. Culture and society has given all this power to such a small piece of what it means to be a man. It is time that we reshape our views and teach the new generations that true power comes from deeds, to focus on the reality of what makes a man a man. The lessons need to start without children and be reinforced as we grow older. We need to stop focusing on the perceived power of the penis.
Gay in the CLE 