Okay, so it’s pretty easy to say that Halloween is a kids holiday. But adults also seem to corner the market on its fun. After all what would this time of year be without some fun Halloween Parties. Watching scary movies, drinking themed drinks, showing up in costume, and even taking part in some old time Halloween traditions like bobbing for apples. Make sure you do that one on the more sober side.
Costumes are not created equal when it comes to adults. You can dress up a Buzz Lightyear and head to your buddy’s Halloween Party. Well, you could but you might become the target of a few jokes. So what happens then? If it’s like any party I ever went to, then the subject of costumes seems to be as broad as the person’s imagination. And when you can seem to come up with something fun and original it leads to the fall back of the “sexy costume.” The quintessential worst idea ever created for costumes that everyone seems to love. Today I thought I would share some of the more bad “sexy” costumes I have found or seen.
10. Sexy Zombie. In a world where anyone can make a costume by adding sexy to it, this seems the least sexy of any of them. This is a creature that eats brains and human flesh, typically from the living. Not only that but their bodies are usually in various stages of decay. Who decided that this should be a sexy costume idea?
9. Sexy Ringmaster. This one is for the guys. Granted, I have never been to a circus so can anyone explain this one to me? This is a man who runs an event filled with exotic animal shit and smells. Stands in the center of the Big Top barking what is next on the evenings events. Aside from Hugh Jackman in the Greatest Show On Earth, I doubt many people have lustful imaginations about anyone that works at a circus. Okay, I admit there are probably plenty of lust filled dreams of some of the circus crew.
8. Sexy Priest/Nun. This one I have never understood very well. First, you have a. priest. Someone who listens to the darkest things you have to hide. With all the controversy that seems to revolve around the church and sex scandals, the farthest thing from my mind would be sexualizing the church. Maybe its the idea of giving up carnal desires for a life of servitude that makes people think that they are sexually frustrated and freaks in the sack? Maybe for the nuns it’s the discipline aspect that gets some men going. Maybe guys also get into it wondering what’s under their habits.
7. Sexy Cop. I am hoping that after all the issues we have had this past year that no one thinks it’s a good idea to sexualize the police. For the sake of sanity and respect for others, let’s leave the police out of Halloween this year. There are other and better ways to play up the bondage aspects.
Sexy Egyptian Goddess
6. Sexy Egyptian Goddess. This one is a first for me and came across it while doing some research. Can we say cultural appropriation? And lets take it a step further by sexually objectifying it. I know someone is going to do a sexy Jesus now. And no, I’m not making any jokes about stigmata.
Sexy Fortune Cookie
5. Sexy Fortune Cookie. I don’t even know where to start with this one, it doesn’t even look like anything but a hot mess. Objectifying your body in the guise of a dessert that isn’t even Asian. Let’s take a good look at the top where it says “Enjoy Me.” There are many ways to accentuate your body in a sexy type of costume, please don’t choose this one to do it.
4. Sexy Baby. There is only one thing that I can say, Babies and sexy do not go together. In appropriate is not even the word. So, please don’t.
Little Man in a Boat
3. Little Man in a Boat. Okay we already know the stories of heterosexual guys that cant find that little man in the boat to being with, so I would guess this would be the only way they would be able to find it. All joking aside. Sexualizing a woman’s body parts and making jokes about them is wrong. Skip this costume completely.
Sexy Corn on the Cob
2. Sexy Corn on the Cob. Sexy food costumes are just no. I mean if you dress up like sexy corn on the cob you are glorifying a phallic symbol. I mean, I can understand that you went to get your costume and this was absolutely the last thing left on the shelf and you really needed something to wear to impress that person at the party you were late for. Wait, no I can’t. What does this really say to the person you are trying to attract? “Hey babe, do you want to pop my corn?”
Sexy Donald Trump
1.Sexy Donald Trump. I will say that I am all for making fun of this guy. But after all the degrading remarks he has made about women, minorities, and the American people, why would anyone want to make a sexy Donald Trump. But if you insist, maybe this guise will allow you to grab em by the pussy. Good luck and don’t get killed.
Simply put, if you are going for a sexy costume put a little thought into it. Just tagging sexy on to an ideal doesn’t make it better. If you are wanting to show skin or be as naked as possible for Halloween, then just do it instead of hiding behind a costume that makes little since or screams bad taste. Remember that Halloween is for fun and not objectifying or belittling anyone.