Summers are usually the times when the kids are out of school and many people take vacations. It is also the time when most family reunions take place. Wait… are family reunions even a thing, any more? It is often a time to share family histories, pull out those old photo albums, and talk about the “good ol’ days. It is meant to be a time where distant relations return home to rekindle bonds that have grown thinner with distance and time.
If you are into genealogy, then this is the time in which you thrive. It is here you see the family line through many generations, how odd family traits are passed from generation to generation, and how family recipes continue to live on, even, perhaps, when many of them should not. It can also leave you feeling isolated and detached from those that you share blood ties with. My family reunions were a combination of somewhere in between all of that. Today I give you, Southern Family Reunions: Grace, Hornets, and One-Old-Cat.
- My Southern Family: Grace vs. Hornets
- Family reunion games
- Family reunion socializing
- Can’t choose our family
My Southern Family: Grace vs. Hornets
Summers in the south are known for a multitude of events. Since kids are out on break for the summer and most adults take vacations during that time, it is commonplace for families to get together and go to or host family events like reunions. The two sides of my family never really got along. My father’s side didn’t really approve of my mother because she had been married before she married my father. My mother’ side wasn’t very keen on my father’s for probably no other reason than my father’s side didn’t like them. What that amounted to was doing family gatherings, of any kind, separately, from one another.
Our families, as I imagine most are, couldn’t be more different from one another.
My mother’s family were a bit more on the reserved side, coming from Pentecostal background and a slight amount of money. My mother was the oldest of two children. The matron of my mother’s family was Dorothy Helen Phillips Pelkey. She always had an air of perfection about her. To me, as a kid, she reminded me of Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women. She never went anywhere without having her makeup perfect, hair coiffed to the heavens, and smartly dressed. She held herself with grace and poise, a true southern woman.
My father’s side was Methodist and loud, is the best way I can describe them. My father was the oldest of six children, three boys and three girls.My father’s family came from farmers and had grown up in a more poor environment, as such often appreciated the small things like family ball games and such. The matron of my father’s family was Eula Mae Wade Simpkins, or Nanny Hornet as us kids often called her. How did she get her nickname you ask? Well, my grandmother, Nanny, was not a kid person and she did not suffer from a whiny child. When she went after someone, it was with the same fervor a mad hornet would have. There was no safe place on this good green earth you could hide from her, She-Would-Get-You!!!
Family reunion games
We had a few Simpkins family reunions, when I was a kid. Most of the Simpkins family lived in relative close proximity, so it wasn’t too hard to get us all together for a reunion. They started out with everyone showing up around noon, the kids and adults spending time catching up and often breaking off into smaller groups. There was always a long table with a tablecloth filled with the various dishes each family group would bring. There always seemed to be two versions of every dish. Potato salad, macaroni salad, coleslaw always seemed to be a competition of who’s version was the best. Depending on the time of the summer, Nanny would have made side dishes from the vegetables in her garden. It was also a guarantee that there would be ham served, as well.
One event that was almost always played at a Simpkins reunion was a game called Oneocat. The odd thing is that the game, itself, is not a game that was made in the south. Oneocat or One Old Cat, as it is also called, started in Brooklyn, New York around 1930. The name of the game would often change depending on how many bases were used. This was the game to play if there were only a few of you and you wanted to play something like baseball.
The basics of Oneocat are a bat, a ball, a home base, an additional base, a hitter, a giver(pitcher), catcher, and a couple outfielders. Since this game was played with much fewer people than baseball, having multiple bases would not work. Instead, the giver threw the ball to the batter. If they hit it they would attempt to run to the other base and back to homebase before they could be tagged out with the ball. If the ball was caught, the batter was out, if the batter was tagged between bases, they were out. Each person kept their own score. Once you hit the ball and either made it back to homebase or tagged out, you went to the field and the giver would become the batter, and the fielder would become the catcher (or something similar).
We only played Oneocat when one specific family member was there, he had come from New York, at one point and was the only one that truly remembered how to play the game. Depending on how many kids showed up and decided to play, the game could last all day and into the night. Truth be told, I don’t think we ever got much beyond an hour of playing before the adults tired out and us kids got bored. From climbing trees to exploring the 180 acres of farm, the kids were always exhausted at the end of the day.
Family reunion socializing
On my mother’s side of the family, we often broke up our get-togethers up. Grandma Lizzie would be the one who was more often known to have family gatherings. With them came family members from all over the United States. Most were from the Delaware or California area. And when they all showed up, cars would be lined down the driveway and almost into the old country dirt road, nearby. People would stream in about the middle of the week and stay with her until it was time to go home. Each time, it was guaranteed we would meet people with whom we had not met before. There would be tables of food, both inside and out. The kids would all gather around this one stump and continue trying to dig it out and play a multitude of games. The adults would sit around, drink coffee, talk about the past, or listen to Granddaddy Roscoe play his guitar and sing, often accompanied by Grandma Lizzie or one of their daughters. Many of a time we would all pile into the bed of someone’s pickup truck and head down to the river for a swim. Her gatherings were what family events should be like.
My mother’s mother, or Memaw as we called her, did not host family reunions as much as cookouts throughout the summer. Memorial day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, and even just various kids birthday parties were more her style. Her back yard had an elaborate stone patio area that my grandfather, GrandGeorge had built. It included a massive stone fireplace/grill, a large gazebo, and large flower gardens only out done by places like the Biltmore Mansion in North Carolina. Those gatherings consisted of Memaw taking her visitors around to look at all of her various gardens; from vegetable to flower.
Once the tour was complete, we all would grab a seat under the gazebo around a large picnic table that GrandGeorge also built. There would be grilled hot dogs, hamburgers, and a multitude of sides to choose from. When our Aunt Recie was still alive, it was guaranteed there would be several of her famous pies included. They always felt a bit more formal and rarely were there any other children there other than my two older brothers, that had grown up with Memaw, and my sister and I.
Can’t choose our family
As I remember these events from my childhood, I remember always feeling separated from them, I didn’t seem to fit in with them. I wasn’t overly athletic, so I didn’t get chosen for many team events. I don’t often get overly dirty, so I didn’t get to hang with the boys that were wrestling and such. With all of that said, I was still left feeling connected to a spirit that was our family. A heritage that was rich in stories and love, granted each showed it differently.
What were your family reunions like? Are you a southerner that can relate to my memories? Or, perhaps you are from a different part of this vast world with a unique view on family reunions. What games or food selections did yours have? Or have you never experienced a family reunion? Let me know in the comments below. As summer quickly approaches, the time for family get togethers is as well. Let’s console each other before the madness starts by commiserating in our shared experiences. Hopefully yours is less like my Southern Family Reunions: Grace, Hornets, and One-Old-Cat.
Gay in the CLE 