Valentine’s Day… In the English language, there are only a handful of words that can, both, elicit a feeling of the deepest love or abject terror the way that word can. Couple with that the imagery of this unique holiday. You have an enforcer that flies around, looking like an innocent baby with wings, deciding the fates of people with a bow and arrow. To signify your love, to another, you use the image of a heart and profess how they have stolen or taken yours. Then you meet someone you have feelings for and you are bribing them with sweets, poems, cards, and proclamations of your love. Imagine how this holiday looks to children.
Today, we take a look at this holiday from our days as children. Join me as we talk about Valentine’s Day Time Warp: Remembering Elementary School in the 80s!
- Oh, what a tangled web we weave!
- Crafting Cupid’s Messages: A Look Back at 80s Valentine’s Day Card Culture
- Neon Hearts & Butterfly Nerves: Memories of My First 80s Valentine’s Day
- From Candy Crushes to Character Building: How 80s Valentines Shaped Our Hearts (and Classrooms)
Oh, what a tangled web we weave!
Forget fancy dinners and expensive roses! For kids growing up in the 1980s, Valentine’s Day meant a classroom transformed into a sugary wonderland. Think heart-shaped construction paper chains draped across the windows, construction paper mailboxes overflowing with colorful cards, and the sweet scent of conversation hearts filling the air. It was a day steeped in childhood innocence, awkward crushes, and enough neon pink and red to make your retinas tingle.
In the calendar that is kid-dom, the time between Christmas break and Spring break can seem as endless as Math class does as the last period of the day. Each and every holiday between those dates is a time for kids to have a slight break from school. Enter Valentine’s Day, a day where the possibilities seem endless. In elementary school, we learned what this holiday was about and the sentiment behind it. Our teachers get us excited for the day where we can share our Valentine’s cards, candy, and other sweets with the class. We also carried a small flame that the crush we have on someone will be returned and we get that special gift that shows us how they feel.
Crafting Cupid’s Messages: A Look Back at 80s Valentine’s Day Card Culture
To this day the Valentine’s Day I remember the most was in 1st grade. Kindergarten was more of just a party with cupcakes, juice, and cookies. But 1st grade, 1st grade is when the rules changed, man. It was when shit got real. That was when we learned about the crafty little piece of paper called Valentine’s Day cards. In my youth they came in one of two ways. You got a plastic wrapped box that had 8×12 sheets of paper that were divided into four cards you had to tear out to use. It also included a wrapped pack of envelopes to match the amount of cards. The second way was a small box that was roughly 5”x7” and contained cards that were already punched out and envelopes. These cards reflected all the goodness that kids loved and were divided up by ‘boys likes’ and ‘girls likes.’
80s culture was unique, on its own, but add in the 80s take on Valentine’s Cards and it was a whole new ball game. Two packs that I remember that my mother bought for me were Peanuts and some kind of superhero cards. Even in the 80s, most of the cards were pretty generic and said things like “You’re a champ!” Then there were the few cards included in each pack that gave just a little something…. extra! Those cards came in two varieties. The first, “There’s only one you!” Or “Valentine, would you be mine?” Those cards were reserved for either the coolest people or those you secretly crushed on. And there was the flip side of those special cards. “Hi. Happy Valentine’s Day, that’s all. Bye Bye!” Or the dreaded one “Maybe next year!!”
Honeslty, who decided to write these cards? The majority are meant to sound encouraging without being to expressive, a few that are for the ones you deem special and the rest that is meant for those that have to get a card because they are in the same class as you. Or, in my case, they were for me.
Neon Hearts & Butterfly Nerves: Memories of My First 80s Valentine’s Day
I would love to sit here, in my lovely study, and tell you how my first Valentine’s Day in the 80s gave me those neon hearts and pretty, pretty butterflies over some cute boy in my class, but sadly it didn’t happen that way. At a very young age I learned there were parts of me I needed to hide away due to an experience with another boy. I was shamed pretty badly over it. I remember the talks that ensued after it was discovered. The lesson I learned was that I needed to fit in and be like the other boys.
The first Valentine’s Day gift I received was from this cute little girl that had a crush on me, at the time. Our families knew each other, being from a small town and parents having gone to school together. Her name was Billie Jean Smith or B.J. For short. We rode the bus together in elementary school. I don’t remember.a lot of how we met but I remember holding her hand on the bus and her older brother watching over us. She always smiled and giggled and we would occasionally sing along to the radio, together.
This day was special because it was Valentine’s Day. Our classroom was decorated in red, pink, and white, from table cloths to decorations we had made out of construction paper and hung up everywhere. There was a table for snacks that consisted of cupcakes, punch, and cookies. Our desks had tissue boxes that had been decorated for the day and were to be our mailboxes for our cards. We all got up and went around, at the same time, to each desk and dropped our cards in. What I remember most was getting back to my desk and only having a few cards in mine. Our class was about 20 people so I expected there to be many cards. To my shock, there were maybe six or eight. For a first grader, this was equivalent of being told you had cooties. I was devastated. Sure, there was one from BJ and it was along the line of asking me to be her Valentine. That helped.
When we boarded the bus to go home, BJ quickly fell into the seat beside me all smiling. She had all her cards with her and showed me all she got. She noticed my pile was rather small. Looking up at me, she smiled and said “I got you something else.”
She handed me a shirt box that had a red ribbon around it and a big red bow. Inside there were those small Necco candy hearts spelling out the messages of adoration, another card, and a little finger puppet monster. I remember tearing up over her gift and no longer cared about the few cards I had gotten. I nervously grabbed her hand, thanked her, and rode the rest of the way home in silence.
All was well until two months later someone convinced me to tell her a joke about her name being BJ. They got me to ask her if she was good at giving blow jobs. She seemed hurt by the joke, raised her hand and told the teacher. That afternoon, I got a very stern talking to and a lesson about the birds and the bees.
From Candy Crushes to Character Building: How 80s Valentines Shaped Our Hearts (and Classrooms)
Valentine’s Day, as a child, is brutal. Well honestly, its brutal all the way around. We teach our children at a young age that our worth is often measured by cards and candy we receive on a specific day of the year. That holiday grows in us to create feelings of deep rooted love or intense fear of not being loved. Those feelings leave lasting marks on us, for better or worse.
Do you remember your childhood classroom Valentine’s Day parties? Did you have them in school? How were they different than my experiences? Do you still love Valentine’s Day or did those experiences spoil you on the day? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I would like to thank each of you again, for continuing to come back. Your visits is why I do this. If you have topics you would like me to discuss, you can let me know in the comments or email me at gayinthecle@gayinthecle.com.
Gay in the CLE 