Christmas Movie Top 5

So, it’s the last week of the year and it’s also the week of Christmas, so it is time for an obligatory Top Five list. For me it’s going to be movie, you know because no one has ever done a Top Five movie list for Christmas.Krampus

 

5. Krampus (2015) – Well over all this movie is a hot mess. It’s a tale about, who else, Krampus. Krampus is a being from Eastern European mythology and a companion of Saint Nicholas. The theory is he is the being that punishes the bad children while St Nicholas rewards the good. The movie however was a tad bit disjointed. It reminded me more of Christmas Vacation meets the exorcist. Max, the son, has a bad run in with his cousins during a Christmas and accidentally conjures Krampus and the rest of the movie is spent with the family and neighborhood trying to survive Krampusnacht. Krampus has brought along his minions of devilish elves and possessed toys to help in harvesting the bad. The ending isn’t such a surprise, if you follow the myths and the movie. Overall, it’s a fun jaunt, if you take it at face value without expecting too much.

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4. Gremlins (1984) – Who hasn’t gotten the gift from hell that ended up causing more trouble that it was worth? That is essentially what happens in this movie. Enter Billy, the son of a half-hearted inventor, a bank teller in love with his town, family and girlfriend. His father gets his son special gift for Christmas, a mogwai, that requires special attention to be paid so disaster doesn’t ensure. Eating after midnight can be bad enough for a lot of this, for a mogwai it is disastrous. The town erupts in chaos but ends with a hopeful message.

Scrooged

3. Scrooged (1988) –  This is probably the best version of the Charles Dickens classic. Bill Murray is incredible in most everything he does, and this is no different. He plays the Scrooge role as Frank Cross a television executive in charge of producing the network’s holiday special. With David Johansen and Carol Kane playing the parts of the Christmas Ghosts, the laughs are endless. Bill Murray is on point with his schtick and the laughs keep rolling. It’s a Christmas must for me.

DieHard

2. Die Hard (1988) – All he wanted to do was come to the coast, get together, and have a few laughs, what ensues is witty one liners and action packed over indulged bank robbery. Ok, so fine there is some contention about whether or not this is actually a Christmas movie and I hold to the fact that it is, at least for me. It takes place during Christmas, there are Christmas carols, Santa Claus, and all-around good cheer. Agree or not but it is Bruce Willis at his best. Enjoy it during Christmas or whenever.

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1. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) – What holiday isn’t perfect without Tim Burton and who hasn’t wanted a Halloween Christmas tree for Christmas, I know I have had one. Jack Skellington is only wanting to keep his holiday cheer all year round and feels that he could add a perfect spin to the snowy holiday. Can he change Christmas for the better? Will he notice the affections of a certain someone? It’s like a fun mashup of Krampusnacht and Christmas and it is a guaranteed good time. Start watching it at Halloween and finish the year with the Christmas perspective. This is my all-time favorite Christmas/Halloween movie.

Thanks for taking the time to share my favorite holiday movie list. These are the must haves for me each Christmas season. Do you agree with any of them or what are your favorite movies? Comment below and let me know. And have a Happy Holidays, kiddies.

 

A Child Stuck In A Well

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I spent most of the month posting about body and sex positivity and I figured I would wrap it up with a reality check. The body positive movement is a good thing, for some people. Just like life, it isn’t a blanket statement. No one can ever tell you to love who you are for these “x” reasons. Each of us has things we don’t like about ourselves at any given time and they change almost as often as the weather. So you may be wondering why I would post those same kinds of messages if I’m now saying that it isn’t for everyone. And that is more of what this will be about.

We spend our entire lives in the body we are born with. We watch it grow and change every year. We know the flaws, that is a given. Hell, why wouldn’t we when all the places and media outlets we touch on a given day point them out to us? We know the days when our hair is on fleek and we are rocking the cutest outfit ever. Our emotions run from the darkest depths to the brightest of rainbow-clad skies. All because of the skin we live in. How we feel about ourselves in relation to what we perceive on a daily basis consumes a major amount of our time. What do we get out of all this focus? Heartache and stress are usually our sparkly prizes.

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I could give you the Cosmopolitan Top 10 list of what you can do to have a better body positive mindset. I could show you ways to reimagine how you look at yourself in the mirror and words to say to help shape how you feel. You can surround yourself by people who constantly tell you how beautiful you are and how much you are loved. But all it will take is one bad day to shake that to the very core of your foundation. It won’t work for you every time or at all. Guess what, it’s okay that it doesn’t. In fact, forcing those mindsets can be just as damaging as the negative ones. They create different kinds of stress and worries to become obsessed with. Working on accepting what we are should be a better focus.

Self-acceptance isn’t about body positivity, it’s simply actualizing that we are who we are. We are both good and bad it doesn’t lower our self worth. Instead of comparing we should realize similarities and what we offer. Not focusing on trying to be some unattainable ideal dictated by a society that changes fades every clothing season. It’s about allowing ourselves the room to be who we are, unconditionally, without more labels than necessary. THAT, my friends is just as hard to do and cannot be done overnight it’s a day-by-day struggle of picking yourself up and moving on. If someone insults us it hurts, we accept that it hurts and know that it will not destroy us. Just like we must keep our head when we get that elusive compliment and know that it will not change the world after the endorphins have left our systems.

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Wanting to change our bodies should be done for the right reasons and correctly. I’m not going to speak on medical reasons for change, those are personal and should be taken up with health care professionals and not some online personality or article. Hell, you can take any of what I am saying with a grain of salt; all I have to draw from is my experience. Being a gay male is just as hard as being a woman or a person of color, in certain respects. I have lived with the ideals that the greater gay community at large has of what is desirable and I have done and do things that can be extreme to try and fit into those parameters. All for the reason of trying to attract what I consider an ideal mate. My own perceptions colored by the very ideals that have shaped my obsession to change.

Having been single for the better part of 15 years has left me in me in a place of trying to figure out how to get back into the dating scene. At 45, my body doesn’t have the bounce back for all of the things that many of us do to ourselves to be more attractive. I have shuttered myself away from the gay community because I know I’m not young, thin, and beautiful. Two and a half years ago I made a change in my life financially and mentally to leave what I knew to do something different. I am a work in progress and still trying to get back to socializing. And I still don’t accept my body completely, I know at times I can be attractive and it takes a bit of work. Mostly I try to be forgiving of myself and know that it is ok that I feel how I feel.

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This all means that we must not take ourselves too seriously. There is plenty of bad shit in the world, more than enough to go around. We have to get out of our heads and see there are other things that do need attention. Our lives may, in fact, have real things that need a more clear-headed approach. For me, one of those would be socializing. Getting out there so I can at least be seen. Hiding myself away is a crutch to justify not having to deal with being judged. Instead I should be accepting that I will be judged no matter where I am or what I do. Life is too short to shutter ourselves away and not enjoy it, regardless of opinions.

There is no cure-all for changing how you feel about your body. There is no red pill or blue pill, its a daily constant effort and as much as you feel like giving. The road does, however, start with acceptance. Acceptance that you are still a good person no matter how your body looks or others opinions of how you should look. Don’t be the child stuck in the well. Make your voice be heard regardless of who tells you differently. It is your life and you should enjoy it on your own terms.

Let’s all be a little easier on ourselves!

 

The Strongest Magic

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One can argue for or against the usage of labels, but they do serve a purpose. Often times those labels become convoluted and limiting. There are labels that people use to describe types of people that are damaging and breed internalized hatred, knowingly or not. There are labels that are used to describe how a person is or may be based on the label they are using. “Of course he is a snappy dressing, he is gay, after all.” “All black men are criminals, look at the prisons.” “Sure she is a lesbian, but it is only because she hasn’t had the right man.” These are only a few, but you can see how damaging they are in their contexts.

Personally, I cringe reading profiles online; they are appalling, at best. “38 yr. old straight acting gay male, physically fit, hung top seeking straight acting fit, bubble butt bottom.” Sound familiar? We have all seen it. “Masculine male seeks same for true love. No femmes, fats, or blacks,” Or the better “28 yr. old gay male but doesn’t act it. Seeks passable CD for DL fun.” You can’t make this stuff up and it is far too common. Why do people use these kinds of labels? Firstly, they are rarely attainable and again it is just an expression of the internalized hatred that many of us carry.

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Ok I get it; we all have types so we use these labels as a means of expressing to others what type we are looking for in a mate. That works great if you are saying you like men with, short blonde hair, green eyes, average groomed body hair, who is loving and honest.  Those are labels that would qualify as a type. When we use terms such as straight acting, masculine, femme, lady boy, or any of the other variations what we are really using are terms that are limiting and judgmental. Many of the labels we have adopted are from idealized patterns of what we know. To say you want someone masculine tends to stem from growing up hearing how feminine or girly a gay man may be and it creates a stigma that we attribute as being bad. We don’t want to be judged with those same standards so we internalize it to change how we act and what we should be attracted to.

I am also a realist; I fully acknowledge that getting rid of labels is as bad as using antiquated ones. There has to be a happy medium. Daily LGBTQ people are being persecuted for our differences. Around 17% of the murders committed this year have been towards African American transgender women. All of us, more than likely, were raised in families or communities that ingrained into us that gay is bad and heterosexuality is the default choice. Its the same society that teaches that “white is right” and that men have the power. Remember that it wasn’t until fairly recently that gay was used to describe queer culture, it was activist Frank Kameny that reclaimed it by the slogan “Gay is Good.” So labels are important for being able to understand difference in the human condition. They are needed but it’s the knife’s edge, one day they will be used against us. Its a fact we cannot change and done we cannot ignore.

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We are now in a society that has the ‘knee jerk’ mentality. We are quick to judge and even quicker to say we are being judged. It is hard to trust anyone who claims to be “on our side” because we question the motives as to why they are helping us. The #METOO movement is a good example, it is a venue for allowing women, and men, to stand up and say they have been abused and have their voices be heard. It has also created a counter response where a lot of white men are standing us and claiming to be the “good guy” so that women shouldn’t fear them. Pitting people against one another. This administration is toxic, at best. We are watching as legislature that was passed is trying to be undone or circumvented. We have a leader who is known for racist mentality and even condones it. This has lead to increase hate crime attacks of all minorities. Transphobia is on the rise, as well as their murder rate.

It is not just the fault of the person that uses the label, but also of the one who reacts to the label. The same internalizations that may cause someone to use those labels could be the same ones that makes a person react negatively to hearing them. In many cases, they pain those words cause can be debilitating to a person, inciting rage over those who appear to be that type or fear and shutting down by those who are being labeled by it. All because of the environment we are raised in.

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It’s no secret why ancient cultures have spells, prayers, and songs to their deities, they knew that words have power, they are magic. Words can affect people and situations to any outcome. That is why I mentioned Frank Kameny coining the term gay to be used as a definition for homosexual people. Until that point it had no bearing on our culture or who we are his slogan “Gay is Good” changed how that word was to be related forever. I remember growing up that using the term gay was bad, as it referred to “those” people. This is the kind of magic that words can have.

I don’t expect you to stop using labels, it just won’t happen. It is not how humans are hardwired we need definitions. What I hope is that you will start to question why you use labels that you do. I would hope that you understand is why you choose the words that you do. Don’t let the labels define who you are and how you view the world. Don’t let them limit your experiencing of life. Consider how they make others feel and react when they are used. After all, words are the strongest magic.

 

Obscenity To Follow

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The First Amendment of the United States Constitution states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” This has caused a lot of tension for the content filtering that Tumblr has stated that it will start enforcing. So what allows that and is it constitutional or fair?

Going further to explain what Freedom of Speech is covered; let’s look at a further definition. Simply put, this Amendment gives us the right to express ourselves without fear of government regulation or interference, but it can regulate speech that may breach the peace and often times obscenity is placed into this category. Obscenity has been a hot button for many years over what it does or does not cover and it is not covered under the First Amendment. The Government defines obscenity as lewd, filthy, and disgusting words or pictures. However, indecent materials including depictions and words are covered under the First Amendment, but they are allowed in a more restricted sense.

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Defining what is or isn’t obscenity or indecent isn’t as black and white and there are two court cases that are big for determining the difference. The first being United States v. One Book Entitled Ulysses, which states that if a work is to be deemed obscene it must be decided on its entirety and not just its parts. This gives a wide berth for anything written, as it must be judged in its whole context. One chapter describing particularly graphic scenes cannot make the whole work obscene. The second case is Miller v. California, which gives a bit more definition. The webpage Legal Information Institute states “The Miller test for obscenity includes the following criteria: (1) whether ‘the average person, applying contemporary community standards’ would find that the work, ‘taken as a whole,’ appeals to ‘prurient interest’ (2) whether the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable state law, and (3) whether the work, ‘taken as a whole,’ lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.” The Miller v. California case allows states to have more control in determining what obscene is and how it applies to a larger level.

Both of these cases were ruled on prior to 1997 and it was at this time more rulings started to surface to try to prevent specific types of content. Reno v. ACLU tried to implement laws to protect children in the new digital media being shared online, which tried to change the Telecommunications Act of 1996. The Supreme Court felt it was overly broad in its handing. In 1998 COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) was put into place and allowed laws to be put into place to protect minors from viewing of obscene images online. Later COPPA was found to also be overly broad in its ban of online adult transmissions of material and that it violated the Miller v. California test. As of 2009, no new legislature has been set forth to define obscenity any different.

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Unfortunately, that leaves it to State level to make the necessary decisions over what is or isn’t not considered obscene. These rulings are what has caused age restrictions to be put into place view the purchasing and viewing of adult content. And many times will allow a heavy-handed approach it what is considered able to fall under being prohibited. These same rulings are what allows websites, like Tumblr, to create Terms of Service agreements about how those images are handled. It is also the same rulings that allow the censoring of artists, photographers, and writers, people like Robert Mapplethorpe, David Wojnarowicz, or Gio Black Peter.  As the old saying goes, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

These same rulings are also used to limit topics of education in schools. Utah, Alabama, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, South Carolina, Arizona and Texas are the states that allow their schools to censor or prohibit LGBTQ topics from being taught in what is called the “no promo homo” laws. This includes denying support groups such as the Gay and Straight alliance that helps students who are LGBTQ or supporters a means to feel safe, all the way down to Oklahoma that mandates that when the schools are teaching AIDS education that it includes that participating in homosexual events is the leading cause to contracting the AIDS virus. Arizona does not allow any curriculum that “promotes a homosexual lifestyle,” which the state is allowed to decide upon. When state levels of government are allowed to teach that homosexuality is considered obscene at a young age, it makes it much easier to deem images in art equally as obscene.

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The argument of Freedom of Speech ties a lot to age limit. In 1970, the Constitution was amended to change the voting age from 21 to 18. This gives the right of every American citizen to make decisions and vote on laws and those who enforce them once they reach the age of 18. This is also the age that is considered to be able to purchase adult content, whether online, in adult stores, or etc. So your right to expression is also allowed at that age and the Government should not be allowed to infringe on that right. As long as the participants of adult related content are consenting adults at least 18 years of age, do not hurt or put anyone in harm, then it should not be held to such strict standards. I left out violating any State or Federal laws, as this opens it back up to the States being able to deem something obscene.

Tumblr has used many reasons to explain their new stance on adult related content and how they will handle it. Any have focused on how there was an increase of child pornography on their sites that lead to their new heavier algorithms for banning the content. These algorithms are not perfect and many times are subject to controversy due to images the have flagged as to explicit. Many artistic images were tagged and removed. Many sites just vanished for the same reason. Transgender blogs that helped others by showing procedural images were caught up in these same heavy-handed approaches. It became a place where information could be shares in real time and show effects of treatments on people’s bodies so others had a reference point. Those sites that are important to many of the transgender community will more than likely disappear, as Tumblr’s ban goes into effect.

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It was also a venue for many LGBTQ artists to showcase their art, whether it be photography, painting, digital media, or however they expressed their talent. When their algorithms are searching for real life human genitalia, females showing nipples, or any content depicting sex acts, all the while encouraging users to actively flag and report anything they deem inappropriate, it is easy to see how this media is disappearing. They recently issued a response to the ban that said they would allow female nudity in aspects of breastfeeding, birth and health related situation, or mastectomy or gender confirmation pictures. They also clarified to say that nudity found in art would be permitted, but the extent of what is allowed is still left up to their decision and user interaction.

Your freedoms are always held in check by those who feel infringed upon or when States make changes to existing laws based on pressure. Sure sites like Tumblr and Facebook are allowed to make their own Terms of Service and we all agree to them blindly without reading fully what may be covered. Standards should be kept in place, but sweeping censoring based on broadly penned wording needs to change. Changing your standards based on pressure from outside sources should be resisted if no hard is being committed. Sadly, we won’t see that and many more sites may be going the way of Tumblr. Our voices may be the only thing that will shape futures of our online content.

**The views expressed in this post are my own and may not be held by any referenced party listed in this blog. **

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Looking For Light In The Darkness

The World can be a dark place, that’s for sure. Each time you turn on the TV, open Twitter or Facebook, check your Instagram posts, or even listen to your podcasts, there is always some note of darkness. This Administration is trying the damndest to roll back everything they can about protection status for our LGBTQ community. We need to break up that monotony with any ray of positivity we can. It is something I have been struggling with, as well.

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Body positive and sex positive messages are so very necessary. Learning to love who you are unconditionally is key in being able to extend that love to others. Some have been fortunate enough to have our families bring them up in that kind of environment, but the majority of us have had to try to learn that where we can or if we can. I love looking for those kinds of people who promote that kind of message. Enter Corinne Kai, a sex educator and writer. Kai looks as the world through the lens of a pleasure activist and femme of center queer human. You can visit Kai’s Insta here where you will be treated with an array of beautifully shot images that are somewhere on the scale of feminine and LGBTQ. You can also find Kai on the “Femme, Collectively” podcast, here you can check out all their topics on gender intersection, sexuality, and healing. Be sure to check them out, their images are beautifully shot and guaranteed to get you to want to start changing your perception of your own inner beauty.

We all know that underwear can have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves. A cute pair that is accentuates our curves in all the right places can make us feel like we are the sexiest person the planet. If this is you then Pyramid Seven Underwear is for you. Click their name to be taken to their Insta account. Pyramid Seven Underwear showcase that they “have underwear for everybody and EVERY body.” On their page you will be treated to fashion magazine quality images of all body and gender identity types. Their high quality fabric and array of color can definitely help give you a different perspective on body positivity.And I love supporting companies who support our community.

 

Being body and sex positive is important for our general and psychological health and unfortunately many parents aren’t equipped to teach their children about issues they, themselves, haven’t been taught to deal with. Are you a parent, know a new parent, or just want to help educate yourself in the possibility that you may be a parent then you need to check out Sex Positive Families . Sex Positive Families’ main goes is to “raise sexually healthy children one talk at a time.” This means discussing topics like consent and teach them in basic everyday ways of engaging with people. They also discuss some of the harder topics in new ways to make it easier for parents and children. Their belief is that shaping your child early will help them not have the issues we are today.

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Early and ongoing talks about sexual health can be powerful normalizers of a child’s experiences with their changing body, feelings, interactions with others and messages from the world around them. Parents and caregivers can wonder how much info is too much or when is the “right” time. Consider being proactive as a way to ensure a child receives the knowledge and safe space that helps them make informed choices from a place of awareness and not fear. . ⬆️Now available for download is our age-by-age guide with strategies for raising sexually healthy children from birth to beyond. Follow the bio link to snag your copy and start the talks that support the sexual health of a child in your world.

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Looking for culturally inclusive, sex positive, and an empowering LGBTQ group, the @altapride is for you. This is also one of the few blog out there that showcase gay and bi black men. They also cover a wide range of topics like HIV prevention and treatment, transgender issues, and anti-bullying. Scroll through and check out the insanely hot pics and gain some knowledge while your there. You won’t be let down.

Lastly, and certainly not least is Ruby Allegra. Ruby is a voice for an overlooked and marginalized community, LGBTQ people with disabilities. The media caters to a specific body type for all gender identities and Ruby becomes the advocate for those that don’t fit these molds. Ruby uses social media as a means of advocacy for those with both identities. Check out Ruby Allegra’s Insta here (https://www.instagram.com/rvbyallegra/?utm_source=ig_embed)

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I’m so excited and nervous to share that I will be performing as feature poet for @drawyourswordspoetry on December 6! There will be music from @effie.mp3 and some amazing talented folk in the open mic part of the evening! If you wanna come check it out, share some poetry or just hang with good people, it’ll be at @chateauapollo, doors at 7pm, $10 entry. This venue is accessible! 💗💙 Photo by @pamo.boutros . . . [Image descriptions: first image features Ruby sitting in their wheelchair in front of rows of desks and shelves in a library. Ruby is laughing with their hand partially covering their face, and they are wearing a pink tshirt under blue and white striped overalls. The second image is a promotional poster for Draw Your Swords, featuring a continuous line drawing of Ruby with a mint coloured background. On the left hand side is text reading “Draw your (S)Words: a night of spoken word. Chateau Apollo, 6 December, doors at 7, $10 entry. Featuring: Ruby Allegra (poetry), Effie (music).”]

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Changing perceptions isn’t easy but the first steps have to happen with us. Surrounding ourselves with more positive images helps us create a mindset that is conducive for loving ourselves for who we are at our core. When we do, we show that to the world and will accept nothing less from others. Start small and just learn to be at peace with who you are. If you find or have blogs or people you follow that offer you that needed body and sexy positive ideal, please share below in my comment section.

 

 

Everyone Else Is Doing It…

So December 17th will be Tumblr’s last day for porn. Those of you that may not know, Tumblr is a blogging platform that specializes in pictures, videos, gif, and smaller blocks of text. It is what would happen if Twitter and Facebook had a love child. It became the easy platform for small time pornography, as well as a means to share clips for other sites. Amateurs found it a perfect venue for their content and, if it happens, it will be sorely missed. With the approvals of SESTO (Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act) and FOSTA (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act), many people who were using social media as a means of making a living may be forced into more unsafe areas.

Shortly after its birth in 2007, Tumblr quickly became a network for the NSFW community to post images and content without fear of being banned. If you were looking for quality clips, pics, gif, meme, and pirated videos, it was the go to place. If you were an amateur looking for e venue to showcase your material, Tumblr had an audience. If you were an aspiring porn star it was the perfect place to start building a follower base. Tumblr allowed you to surf the porn web anonymously and mostly safely. You could scroll through search list of almost any fetish or desire you may have and even create your own feed. From here you could repost items you found and build your own following. The limit was your imagination.

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As I mentioned in a previous post, Tumblr wasn’t against adult content and allowed it to be posted. The only caveat was that if you were a frequent poster of adult content you had to flag your blog as ADULT. Explicit content was frowned upon and often times did get deleted. Typically a post would be deleted if someone reported it or the algorithms they used found it. Their Toss expressed that explicit acts of sexuality would be removed, but in the past it was done with a light hand. This started to become more enforced this year when Verizon bought Tumblr.

Tumblr had led many tech companies in the fight to prevent telecoms from slowing the Internet for users who couldn’t pay for higher bandwidth speeds. Also allowing their users to be more determinate of what they posted created a fairly large target for them. They fighting voice for net neutrality started was quieted when their company merged with Yahoo. It wasn’t until they merged with Verizon that many posts started being silenced. Verizon is very much against net neutrality and very much backs the removal of adult content. Verizon also now owns AOL, this gives them a pretty large swatch of search engines and social media options to control flows for their benefit.

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This becomes important under this administration as we are seeing more and more measures put into place for censorship. “According to the National Center for Transgender Equality(NCTE), current laws already grant prosecutors ample powers to effectively bust sex traffickers and to investigate businesses that engage in trafficking. But the law could drastically expand the definition of the offense of “promoting” or facilitating trafficking to include many commercial websites disseminating information for sex workers, even educational guidance, opening them up to lawsuits or other pressure to shut down,” according to The Nation. This could give SESTO and FOSTA the ability to target sites that are offering education services under the guise of helping sex workers or traffickers.

The recent change to Tumblr is also affected other platforms, like Facebook. Facebook as recently changed its content-moderation protocols to crackdown on any sexually suggestive posts. Their policies have changed to include language for discussing sexual positions to posting erotic art. The previous iterations of the policies did not clearly make distinction between sexual exploitation and solicitation. So calling your ex a slut and showing pics they sent you would clearly fall under exploitation, while being in a group and saying that you are going to be at a local bar looking for fun, if interested wear a shirt with a unicorn could be under solicitation. Now, both scenarios are clearly defined under their new policy. This has seen an increase in posts being flagged and groups being deleted. I personally have had a friend been warned and posts removed for content that Facebook said used sexual slang.

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According to an article posted on Out (out.com) “In October, the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit that works to defend free speech and user privacy, reported that in recent years “policy restrictions on ‘adult’ content have an outsized impact on LGBTQ+ and other marginalized communities.” Many LGBTQ websites and social platforms have felt the backlash from this, seeing YouTube channels being suspended or Facebook pages temporarily banned. These are places that offered safe information about sex to many LGBTQ youth. This in turn can lead to a heightened sense of not belonging and turning to other less safe means of learning about sex and sexual activities. Many of these platforms provided sexual education for the LGBTQ youth and showed that sex could be intimate and soft instead of being catered to the male gaze and phallic centric that a lot of porn seems to be shot in.

A couple months ago, Facebook was shown to have been blocking many LGBTQ ads based on its new advertising policy. Facebook claims this is a small error but it does show failures in the programming of algorithms they use to monitor their traffic. They truth of this is hard to imagine since Facebook, itself, isn’t know to be supportive of the LGBTQ community. Many are still feeling the backlash of the “real name” policy. A policy that did not allow transgender people to change their name as it wasn’t seen a their “REAL NAME.”

LGBTQCensor

Censorship like this isn’t the only limit. If you are in support for sex worker reform and post about any of articles that are about it, many social media platform see the words “sex worker” and oftentimes flag the post or suspend your account without explanation. There is fear that many of the algorithms used for scanning will not be able to differentiate between diagrams for condom usage, pelvic exams, or porn. This could lead to large problems with sexual educations sites that are legitimately hosted by organizations. Many of the early obscenity laws of America were centered on the teaching of sexual education and contraception.

Eric Leue, executive director of the Free Speech Coalition stated,  “Many people in straight, heteronormative communities don’t understand what the big deal is, because their lives and cultures are represented everywhere,” Leue said. “For those in queer, or niche, or fetish communities, Tumblr was one of the few accessible spaces to build communities and share content.” He also feels that large tech companies need to understand the difference between using algorithms for flagging content and outright banning content versus nuances of media and human regulation. Removing these items from apps stores and online media may not seem huge to the heteronormative segments of the population but it has a huge effect on the LGBTQ youth.

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It has not been thought of how this may affect informative educational blogs for the transgender community. Many transgender people have used the platforms like Tumblr and Instagram for showing their lives through transitional images and giving a voice to those who are struggling to find acceptance. These same sites will very likely be the ones that are flagged and banned because of images or text used. With the current president and administration pushing to change laws for LGBTQ it isn’t hard to see that many of these sites will land on the side of safety and remove this content

Censorship is alive and well in America. It is being used as a means of persecution of marginalized people. We have see platforms target images and posts based on to strict algorithm and heavy handed banning when, in fact, the content may not specifically fit the ToS of the platform. This same censorship seems to be targeting LGBTQ people in ways we didn’t think would happen, artwork is being flagged, educational sites are being removed, and our posts are being removed because someone or something things we are using suggestive terms that may relate to exploitation or solicitation. Its time we became more aware of the control these people exert without our knowledge. If not, many aspects of our culture could be removed before we even realize it is gone.

 

Cruise Control

“Knock three times on the ceiling, if you want me. Twice on the pipe if the answer is no…” The art of cruising has evolved so much over the years. The signals gay men once used to express interest are all but a lost art form. Mention hanky code and most may think you mean some kind of public acceptance of wiping your nose. With the onset of technology, we are able to dial down someone within a few hundred yards as opposed to carefully displaying ourselves and watching to see if there is interest. Taking a look at how we meet and even entertain ourselves seems important now that Tumblr is disappearing.

Our world today is fairly easy. We can whip out our smartphones and pull up the most recent iteration of a cruisy app to find other gay men around us. From there we can plan a hookup or possibly start a relationship. In the recent past it was a bit more convoluted. The 1920s was an era of decadence, one that had many bars and clubs owned by gay and lesbian men. As the economy crash and the Great Depression of the 1930s happened, many things changed. Many felt that the openness and experimentation of the 20s led to the current state of affairs. Laws were put into place that prohibited any gay person from congregation in public places. The once bars, restaurants, and cabarets ran by so many were not put in jeopardy. Establishments that employed them or allowed to them to gather where threatened with losing their liquor licenses. Movies were no longer allowed to show gay characters or themes.

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During the 1930s, you also saw in increase of New York City Police using a 1923 statute that made it a criminal act for one gay male to invite another to have sex. This started the sting operations that haunted gay men cruising for sex for so long. These changes forced us to try to find new ways that we could meet each, adopting modes of dress, speech and even style. So how did that happen, you may ask. Well jewelry was a big indicator, wearing a single ear piercing in a certain ear was one of the easiest. Also the adoption of a pinky ring was another means to let others know. Around the 1960s, the Hanky Code was invented. This was an elaborate system of color, patterns, and what pocket to wear it from, all to give the viewer the knowledge if you were a top or a bottom or if like liked a certain fetish.

While these were great, sometimes it was not conducive for all men who were looking to hookup. So places became popular. The term “cruisy spot” was used to indicate a place where men who were looking for sex could meet other men. These places were prone to police raids and also became targets for violence. Bathhouses became other areas for this type of activity. Here you could carry your key or towel a certain way to show others your interest. Video booths were also popular places for the quick turn of trade. Video booths gave the added ability of purely anonymous sex and created a larger fetish scene of glory holes.

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During the 1960s, mainly in Britain, the language of Palori was used as a means of speaking to other gay men without being detected. One would be able to carry on a whole conversation or be able to use is sparsely so that others may be able to pick up on it. Many of the words used during that era have stayed with us through the ages. Butchto mean masculine or masculine lesbian, Chickento mean young person, Cottaging to refer to sex in public restrooms, and Fruitto mean gay man. Our very history has been shaped by the means of the past.

 

As the modern era approached, we saw the Internet start to become a large presence in the lives people. The LGBTQ people were quick to embrace it. I harken back to the days of the AOL chat rooms as a means of finding guys in a specific area. It was great if you were in a new town, you could log into a regional area or even city room to meet up. This lead way to sites like MySpace, LifeOut, and other early social media sites, becoming popular means of meeting and hooking up. The days of Craigslist were not far behind, gaining popularity and growing across the country. This caused many of the earlier means of identification to pass into memory, leaving things like the Hanky Code to be used in bars or leather clubs.

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Photo by Chrysostomos Galathris on Pexels.com

As technology improved and became smaller, our phones became the way for hooking up. Combining the GPS feature and mobility allows members to find like-minded people anywhere they are in the world. Even today we still see usage of terms like bears, twinks, tops, bottoms, bully dyke, baby dykes, acdc, and bibi. Many apps have come and gone over the years, leaving the tried and true like Grindr, Scruff, and Growlr to serve most gay men on the go. Even these platforms are starting to change and evolve more.

We have also used the web and apps as a repository for our arts, history and porn. Apps like Tumblr allow members to curate content they like and share it with an audience that follows them, whether it be content they have found from other places or their own productions. As with much of our history, it is often times viewed through the outside lens of being obscene and many of these sites have very short life spans. Tumblr was started in 2007 to be a micro blogging platform. Allowing bloggers to post multimedia and short posts in a more bite sized consumable format. Tumblr gave an open format for blog owners to post adult related material, but if it was substantial amount posted that their blog be labeled as adult. The terms of service always stated that sexually explicit videos would not be allowed, but embedding code as a redirect could easily circumvent this.

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Photo by Tracy Le Blanc on Pexels.com

It is stated by outside sources that 22% of all traffic in and out of Tumblr has pornographic related content and that 16% of the blogs were solely NSFW related. While these numbers seem relatively small, they are the largest focus for the heat the site takes, As of December 17, 2018, Tumblr has issued that all adult content will be removed from their site, with a few exceptions/explanations to this rule. This comes from the long-standing battles about the amount of adult content and recent allegations of child pornography on the site. Adult content aside, this will be a pretty significant loss to the LGBTQ history. Tumblr was useful for many transgender people posting information about the process and life.  It was a means for many LGBTQ artists to showcase their art and express their views. Many of these will fall into the guidelines that Tumblr is now enforcing and will cease to exist on a social platform.

We have changed our ways of identifying ourselves throughout the years, we have adapted to society and technology as our needs saw fit. We have left outdated methods behind us or incorporated them in to new ways of usage. The lesson is that we will adapt to the changes, it may be difficult but we always find a way. How will the future change our interactions?

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