Cruise Control

“Knock three times on the ceiling, if you want me. Twice on the pipe if the answer is no…” The art of cruising has evolved so much over the years. The signals gay men once used to express interest are all but a lost art form. Mention hanky code and most may think you mean some kind of public acceptance of wiping your nose. With the onset of technology, we are able to dial down someone within a few hundred yards as opposed to carefully displaying ourselves and watching to see if there is interest. Taking a look at how we meet and even entertain ourselves seems important now that Tumblr is disappearing.

Our world today is fairly easy. We can whip out our smartphones and pull up the most recent iteration of a cruisy app to find other gay men around us. From there we can plan a hookup or possibly start a relationship. In the recent past it was a bit more convoluted. The 1920s was an era of decadence, one that had many bars and clubs owned by gay and lesbian men. As the economy crash and the Great Depression of the 1930s happened, many things changed. Many felt that the openness and experimentation of the 20s led to the current state of affairs. Laws were put into place that prohibited any gay person from congregation in public places. The once bars, restaurants, and cabarets ran by so many were not put in jeopardy. Establishments that employed them or allowed to them to gather where threatened with losing their liquor licenses. Movies were no longer allowed to show gay characters or themes.

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During the 1930s, you also saw in increase of New York City Police using a 1923 statute that made it a criminal act for one gay male to invite another to have sex. This started the sting operations that haunted gay men cruising for sex for so long. These changes forced us to try to find new ways that we could meet each, adopting modes of dress, speech and even style. So how did that happen, you may ask. Well jewelry was a big indicator, wearing a single ear piercing in a certain ear was one of the easiest. Also the adoption of a pinky ring was another means to let others know. Around the 1960s, the Hanky Code was invented. This was an elaborate system of color, patterns, and what pocket to wear it from, all to give the viewer the knowledge if you were a top or a bottom or if like liked a certain fetish.

While these were great, sometimes it was not conducive for all men who were looking to hookup. So places became popular. The term “cruisy spot” was used to indicate a place where men who were looking for sex could meet other men. These places were prone to police raids and also became targets for violence. Bathhouses became other areas for this type of activity. Here you could carry your key or towel a certain way to show others your interest. Video booths were also popular places for the quick turn of trade. Video booths gave the added ability of purely anonymous sex and created a larger fetish scene of glory holes.

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During the 1960s, mainly in Britain, the language of Palori was used as a means of speaking to other gay men without being detected. One would be able to carry on a whole conversation or be able to use is sparsely so that others may be able to pick up on it. Many of the words used during that era have stayed with us through the ages. Butchto mean masculine or masculine lesbian, Chickento mean young person, Cottaging to refer to sex in public restrooms, and Fruitto mean gay man. Our very history has been shaped by the means of the past.

 

As the modern era approached, we saw the Internet start to become a large presence in the lives people. The LGBTQ people were quick to embrace it. I harken back to the days of the AOL chat rooms as a means of finding guys in a specific area. It was great if you were in a new town, you could log into a regional area or even city room to meet up. This lead way to sites like MySpace, LifeOut, and other early social media sites, becoming popular means of meeting and hooking up. The days of Craigslist were not far behind, gaining popularity and growing across the country. This caused many of the earlier means of identification to pass into memory, leaving things like the Hanky Code to be used in bars or leather clubs.

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As technology improved and became smaller, our phones became the way for hooking up. Combining the GPS feature and mobility allows members to find like-minded people anywhere they are in the world. Even today we still see usage of terms like bears, twinks, tops, bottoms, bully dyke, baby dykes, acdc, and bibi. Many apps have come and gone over the years, leaving the tried and true like Grindr, Scruff, and Growlr to serve most gay men on the go. Even these platforms are starting to change and evolve more.

We have also used the web and apps as a repository for our arts, history and porn. Apps like Tumblr allow members to curate content they like and share it with an audience that follows them, whether it be content they have found from other places or their own productions. As with much of our history, it is often times viewed through the outside lens of being obscene and many of these sites have very short life spans. Tumblr was started in 2007 to be a micro blogging platform. Allowing bloggers to post multimedia and short posts in a more bite sized consumable format. Tumblr gave an open format for blog owners to post adult related material, but if it was substantial amount posted that their blog be labeled as adult. The terms of service always stated that sexually explicit videos would not be allowed, but embedding code as a redirect could easily circumvent this.

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It is stated by outside sources that 22% of all traffic in and out of Tumblr has pornographic related content and that 16% of the blogs were solely NSFW related. While these numbers seem relatively small, they are the largest focus for the heat the site takes, As of December 17, 2018, Tumblr has issued that all adult content will be removed from their site, with a few exceptions/explanations to this rule. This comes from the long-standing battles about the amount of adult content and recent allegations of child pornography on the site. Adult content aside, this will be a pretty significant loss to the LGBTQ history. Tumblr was useful for many transgender people posting information about the process and life.  It was a means for many LGBTQ artists to showcase their art and express their views. Many of these will fall into the guidelines that Tumblr is now enforcing and will cease to exist on a social platform.

We have changed our ways of identifying ourselves throughout the years, we have adapted to society and technology as our needs saw fit. We have left outdated methods behind us or incorporated them in to new ways of usage. The lesson is that we will adapt to the changes, it may be difficult but we always find a way. How will the future change our interactions?

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Warmer Thoughts

Today is a more chillier day in Cleveland and my canvas kilt is a bit more breezy than I thought it would be this morning. So in retaliation, I am posting to pictures I took last spring with my best friend Tammy McFarland Mellert. You can find her on YouTube, where she does reviews about camera gear and shares her photography adventures here in Ohio. You can also check out her webpage Tammy Mellert Photography. So give her a look over and while you are here, you can look at my pictures.

 

 

You Had Me At The Swing Of Your Kilt.

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What can I say; I love a man in a kilt. Perhaps that’s why I always wanted to wear one or maybe it was due in some small part to my heritage being Scottish and Irish. It may also be that I have been jealous of women being the only one to wear something like that, this was before I knew about Scottish people wearing them. Regardless, a man in a kilt can cause your heart to skip a beat and dance to a Scottish song. Need proof, I give you Gerard Butler (see below). And he is only one; David Tennant, John Barrowman, Graham McTavish(also below), Ewan McGregor, James McAvoy, and Billy Boyd.

In an article on Quora by Janie Keddie titled “Why do Scots wear kilts?”, she says “Men look and feel fantastic in kilts. You see them stand differently and develop a swagger. It’s extremely attractive! ” It’s true, I see it in myself. Wearing one elevates your confidence and definitely puts a bit of strut in your walk. When the pleats swing in time with your walk it is utter hypnosis to the masses. Not to mention their functionality is amazing. Confidence is an amazingly sexy thing, so when a man wears a kilt it just adds to that. Sure it’s a bit strange the first few times you see it, but you have to admit that your eye lingers a bit longer on a man who is wearing one.

As amazing as they make me feel and as much as I love seeing a man in one, there are some frustrations with them. Sitting down in a kilt  can frustrate me to no end because I still have not mastered the smoothing of the pleats. They always seem to get bunched and with a cargo kilt style, the box pleats combined with the material can leave the pleats folding awkwardly. And you gain a new found respect for women learning how to sit and maintain their modesty. I have been asked on more than one occasion about the fetish aspect of wearing a kilt. I have seen the images and videos out there of sex in kilts and it even is intriguing, but that can be said for any garment that becomes fetishized. After all, there are leather fetishes, jean fetishes, shoe fetishes, and the list goes on and on. I love my kilts for the fashion aspect, the comfort levels, and how they alter my confidence.

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So history time, kilts have been worn since about the 16th century and are a variation of the Great Kilt (feileadh Mòr). Before that time Scottish men wore long tunics and cloaks of wool. As the fabrication and availability of wool became easier, that style started to mutate into the great kilt. Traditionally it was two bolts of cloth stitched together to make the garment. The lower half was folded into pleats and belted at the waist while the upper half remained looser to wrap yourself in to keep warm and prevent wind. Wearing the tunic underneath afforded the kilt more modality so that it could be taken apart and used as a structure or a large blanket at nights.

Around the 17th or 18th century, a much simpler version was created called fèileadh beag.It was reduced to only one bolt of cloth that was belted at the knees and the pleats were stitched in for ease of wearing. This also made it much lighter to wear and easier to march in. No longer was it able to be used for shelter or blanket and lending more to ceremonial or daily wear. This is the version of the kilt that survives today. Using what is called a fly plaid and a brooch you could achieve a similar effect to wearing the full Great Kilt, but with much less weight and greater ease.

I don’t post about kilts often because part of me feels that talking about it cheapens it in some way. If I just wear them as I would any other garment, it becomes less of an issue. After all, how often does someone write a post, or talk about wearing pants? Not very often, unless its a fashion piece or about a specific designer. Simply put, I really enjoy wearing them. They are comfortable, unless your pleats bunch up. Not everyone wears them, so it does create a talking point. They are vastly multifunctional. Thrown on a t-shirt and a kilt for knocking around the house or town, pop on a polo and loafers or boots to dress it up for dinner, or add a waistcoat or blazer, a button down, and a pair of oxfords and  you have a nice looking piece for meeting people, business settings, or fancier engagements. Lets not forget about formalizing it for wedding and etc.

I may not be Gerard Butler or Graham McTavish, but I do think I look damn good in a kilt. People notice mine often and comment accordingly. Similarly, I love seeing men in a kilt and wish more would take up the trend. It is nice that they aren’t common because I do like the attention and talking to people about them. My heritage doesn’t change or accentuate my love for wearing them. I encourage you to also take a chance and try one on. Remember that we have Kilted Bros close by who can  help you out with all your kilted needs. AND fine YOU GOT ME, it was also a ploy to be able to post hot guys in kilt pics and who can’t appreciate that?

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#Kiltlife

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Often, when I am out, I am asked why do I wear a kilt. It’s usually combined with are you Irish or Scottish. On occasion I get a rude comment or two. A lot of just looks, but it’s usually the why? The simple answer is that I like them, but it starts a deeper question as to when did I decide that it was something that I wanted to wear. I have never really “fit in” with fashion. Often times I dress how I like with only a little nod to any form of fashion. I also don’t think that people should be pigeonholed into a specific current fashion trend.

Pants weren’t accepted by most of the world until about 1701 and even by then there were French style breeches as opposed to trousers. And modern versions of trousers weren’t set until about the 1800s. Until the first onset, most of the world of men’s fashion was a caftan style or tunic style apparel. Native American were wearing breechclouts, which were pieces of fabric passed between the legs and held up by a belt. Roman and Greeks soldiers thought it barbaric and effeminate to wear pants. This Roman didn’t change their mindset until the Teutons conquered them and more exploration into the northern regions. Here it was limited, primarily, to the cavalry. Hitherto, this has not effect as to why I currently wear a kilt, but it is a history to show that men didn’t always wear bifurcated garments.

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As I said earlier, I have always been different in my mode of dress. I wore what I liked and didn’t pay a lot of heed to man fashion trends. In the 80s I did follow the neon fashion statements and the jelly bracelet fad. But I also wore a floor length black denim duster through most of high school with a bit of an early gothic edge. Definitely different than the normal kids in our school. I grew up in a very small rural town and our school TOTAL was 500 people. When I graduated, it was about 45 people. So, as you can see, very small. Standing out means you stood out. Seeing Boy George blurring gender lines by wearing skirts and dresses fascinated me. We had person in our school, Brian Cales that mimicked Boy George’s dress style. I never had the nerve for it. I really wasn’t witness to anything like that until after I came out and started going to the local gay bay. They guy I was dating at the time, Shawn Moomau, had a friend whose name was Mike and he always wore kilts to the bar. He was a somewhat club kid of the time. I loved his kilt and wanted one. The Internet was much smaller then and when I researched kilts I was met with the sheer expense of them. So my hopes were dashed. Today we have companies like Kilted Bros , who make it a bit more affordable to get a quality product.

I personally feel that men should branch out and try a kilt, even if only occasionally. When you are kilted up for special events, the image cannot be beat. Even casually, it can be awesome. It’s about the confidence you carry while wearing it. I have my favorites out of all of my kilts; my gotos and I have some I wear out of comfort. The most difficult for me, personally, are the cargo style kilts. And there difficulty only comes from the fabric being the heavier canvas; they are prone to creasing if the pleats aren’t perfectly situated. That it seems, is a huge struggle for me. Basically, I hate ironing pleats it is torture. I don’t seem to have that issue when I wear my wool or acrylic tartans. That aside, I still love wearing them. The freedom of movement is incredible. Pants or jeans never seem to fit 100% perfect, you always seem to get that binding pinch at some point. Go for a pair more form fitting and you end up with them riding up on you. Not comfortable, to say the least. Give me a kilt any day, All day long it’s comfortable, I don’t have to worry about feeling overly warm. Sitting for a long time, my only fear is how my pleats look.

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It takes confidence to be different than the pack, so do not think a man shouldn’t wear a kilt. Anyone that tells you that is out of his or her mind. It’s not about being Scottish/Irish, its not about wanting to wear skirts, its about being comfortable and being your true authentic self. Many think they can’t afford a kilt, well  Kilted Bros sells a more affordable kilt called a RRRip kilt. It is designed as a runner or hikers kilt, or to be used as a quick cover up for the pool and etc. Very lightweight and breathable. But, if you want to try a kilt without having to put a lot of money into one, this is the way to go. They can still be dressed up the same as other kilts, sporran, belt, shoes, shirt, and tie or just a t-shirt and barefoot around the house. It’s a PERFECT to see how you feel about it and to get comfortable with it.

And I get it, you like wearing a kilt. You wear them out in public, to the bar, and various events, but it is hard to wear them to work. Not all places are accepting of being able to wear one. This is because they are different and not widely accepted as acceptable forms of dress for men. I have been lucky to work for places that were accepting of me wearing them. With my current job, I usually wear them on Fridays and maybe one other day of the week. At a previous job, I wore them almost every day. In general, most people are pretty accepting of seeing me in one. I have had more people genuinely interested and giving compliments than the few random people who are negative about it.

The more you wear a kilt and it becomes a part of  your routine, they become you. Rude comments won’t bother you anymore, you will notice the looks of approval you get from men and women. As it becomes a natural thing for you, broaching the subject at your place of work becomes easier, as well.  The point is, you can’t know if you like something unless you try it. Be different, be ahead of the pack and not stuck in the middle. Get out and go talk to the guys at Kilted Bros. and try one on.

 

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#KiltedBros

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Nestled in the 5th Street Arcade is Cleveland, Ohio’s very own kilt store, Kilted Bros. However, this kilt store isn’t like any other kilt store out there. These two guys started their business in October of 2014, as they say over the course of one evening. Jefferson and Nick had been wearing kilts for about 15 years before they decided to open Kilted Bros. Today they are located in the 5th Street Arcade and planning to move to a bigger location across the hall.

“We believe in comfort and marching to your own drummer. If that’s you, drop your pants, and get into a Kilted Bros kilt”, says Kilted Bros. This isn’t your traditional kilt store, they believe that kilts are for everyone, for any occasion, and any heritage. So come in, drop your pants and put on a kilt.

They offer traditional 5 and 8 yard Tartan style kilts and the more modern Cargo kilts, which include pockets and snaps. Their Hybrid kilts combine Cargo kilts with the ability to include inserts of any tartan designs or colors. One of their newer styles of kilts involve using a sublimation printing process, using heat to transfer ink to fabric to create various designs. At present they offer a Puppy Bone Leather Flag and Bear Flag Paw option, that are also cargo styled kilts.  All of their kilts are hand sewn, so they can accommodate any special orders you may have. Build time can vary; depending on the order, but usually takes about 6 weeks. They also offer a wide range of accessories to go along with your kilt; sporrans, belts, kilt pins, fly plaids, Ghillie shoes, tartan vests, kilt hose, and much more. Cant find it in the store, no worries you can order it from there website.

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Jefferson and Nick do travel the year, going to various Pride, Bear, and Leather events, selling their brand. They fully embrace an inclusive mentality and believe that all men should live a pant free lifestyle. Women are welcome, as well. They have built kilts especially for them, so if you need specific measurements they can set you up. Want to outfit your wedding, they got that covered. Just stop by and talk to them.

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Visiting their shop is amazing; their staff is welcoming and helpful. Never wore a kilt? No problem, they are there to walk you through your first purchase. They help with providing measurements, showing you options, and even walking you through ordering online, if they do not have what you are looking for. They truly treat you as a member of their family and the reason why I keep going back. This is my favorite place in all of Cleveland and I love these guys.

Yes they are LGBTQ friendly, they even have a Bear Pride kilt which is on the national Tartan registry and can be view here. That is one of two designs that Nick has registered, the other is the Pride of Cleveland tartan. These are just two of their many designs they carry. Truly something for every flavor.

They have made me a believer and I am in a kilt as often as I can be. When people ask me about my kilts I always tell them that once you try one on, there is no going back. They are quite possibly the most comfortable garments I have ever worn. Then I always flash them the Kilted Bros logo. If you are a person of your own style and confidence, then these guys are for you. Check them out and drop your pants.

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Kilted Bros.

530 Euclid Ave. #16 Cleveland, OH 44111

I kilt it!!!

KILTS!!! I love them, what more can I say. They are an amazing piece of fashion. Why more men don’t wear them, I can’t seem to understand. At present I have 9 and it will be growing from there, thanks to Kilted Bros in downtown Cleveland. While there may be some Irish and Scottish in my lineage, my love for them is because of how they look and feel. After putting on my first one, I was hooked. I have always been fascinated with them but seemed to lack the courage and accessibility to wear one. At least until I moved to Cleveland almost two years ago. My best friend, Tammy Mellert, had mentioned that a local kilt vendor was at Pagan Pride and they had a shop downtown. I promptly replied that we needed to go. My heart was racing with excitement and fear. I laid awake thinking about the possibilities. Her husband had worn one before and said he liked it. I figured if he could, so could I. My mind was filled with the possibilities. I poured over their site studying all they had to offer. My mind reeling with options and getting ideas as to what I wanted. I tried not to get my hopes up on any particular style, for fear of them not having it. I studied the videos on how to measure and what would work. Finally, the day arrived and we went to their shop. One of the representatives Eric was working that day. We advised him that I had never worn a kilt, but I did know my size. I looked over their stock and immediately fell in love with a tartan that was mostly purple. Tammy said that should be the one I tried on, she knew that purple was one of my favorite colors. The other being black, which was also in the tartan. It is called the Pride of Scotland. So, finding my size, I absconded to the dressing room to ditch my pants. I knew that tradition stipulates to wear them regimental, so I dropped my undies and began to strap into my kilt. Once I had it on, I knew that I was in love with it. However; I hadn’t stepped out of the dressing room yet. My nerves kicked in and immediately was afraid of how I would look to others. I knew I had to come out or get dressed. I swallowed my fear and opened the curtain and stepped out. Both my best friend and Eric said that the colors worked very well on me. I stepped in front of the mirror and saw myself for the first time. I knew I liked it, but still had the fear in the back of my mind that “men don’t wear skirts.” Tammy assured me I looked good in it and I knew I wanted to, so they only thing to do was buck up and buy it. I did and haven’t looked back. I wore it out of the shop that day and her husband had also worn his in solidarity. We went to a few places before heading home, to get the feel of wearing it in public. It was freeing to wear something so comfortable. I loved it so much that in two weeks I went back for a second one. Slowly, my kilt wardrobe began to grow and I wanted to take it to the next level and start wearing them more. The next step was to wear them to work. At the time I was working in retail as a manager of a Sunglass Hut, since fashion is part of what drives their culture and the uniqueness of fashion is their mainstay, I thought I would give it a try and ask them. They wanted to see pictures to make sure it wasn’t gimmicky. I assured them that it wasn’t costume quality; in fact my kilts cost easily $150. After showing a picture they conceded to allow me to wear it. So, I donned my favorite kilt, The Pride of Scotland Tartan, and went to work There was that initial fear when I got out of the car and crossed the parking lot. The tassels on my sporran beating in time to my racing heart. Then I heard it; someone recognized I was in a kilt. “Awesome Kilt” was yelled at me across the parking lot. Immediately my confidence and ego shot through the roof and I strutted the rest of the way to work. I wore them almost every day and people would see me through the door and stop in to see me. This in turn always resulted in a sale. It was awesome. I wear them every chance I can get. When someone asks me why my response is always “try one on and feel how comfortable it is, you will never go back.” My thanks goes out to my best friend Tammy Mellert for dragging me to get my first one and to Kilted Bros (www.kiltedbros.com) for being a local small business in Cleveland. Without them I wouldn’t have this addiction. I will be reviewing their store soon, so stay tuned.