We all know that romance takes work. if anyone tells you differently, then they are fooling you. Being romantic requires knowledge of the person you are trying to woo. It requires you to be creative and always bring something new and different. Let’s face it, that isn’t always easy.
Romance always seems much easier at the beginning of a relationship. It’s new and exciting to learn about the person you are just starting to see. You want to impress them and show them a good time. You focus on small and larger gestures that make the other person fall for you.
Over the course of the relationship, we seem to forget that we still need to romance our partners. Life seems to get in the way and those simple gestures seem to fade to the background. After all, you’re dating now, the challenge is over right? Wrong.
So you are left wondering how do I re-kindle that spark. Or maybe you are wondering if the other person still loves you. How can you impress them again, to show they still make your heart beat fast.
Well, I have something to share with you, then.
7 Exciting Ways To Keep Romance Alive
7. Love Notes
Wow, I heard that from here. “Love notes are for middle schoolers.” Are they, really?
Remember how you felt the first time you got a card professing the love of your significant other? Your heart sped up a little, the butterflies in your stomach felt like they were migrating to warmer climates, and your face got a little flushed. Why not try leaving one for them as a change of pace.
The note doesn’t have to be lengthy in the proclamation of your love, in fact, shorter is better. How about a small letter that says, “Today I have loved you “X” days and I will love you for a million more. The X is the number of days in relation to how long you have been together.
The good thing is that these notes can be left anywhere. You could put one with their lunch, in a box they are reading, under a pillow, or anywhere you can think of. The sky is the limit.
6. Thoughtful Gifts
When we start relationships, many of us shower our significant other with chocolates, cards, and flowers. As we settle into our routines, those gifts seem to move to special dates like Christmas or birthdays. Break that habit.
You can pick up your partner’s favorite adult beverage, wrap a bow around it, and set it someplace they will see when they get home from work. If their thing is long baths, why not get them a set of bath bombs to use and join in with them.
I get that gift-giving can be hard, even for holidays and birthdays, thankfully we have technology that can help us out. In your contact list, there is usually an option to leaves notes about a person. It’s meant for more serious things, but why not use it to put in some of their likes. Alternately, you can use the note app on your phone to jot down a book they may have liked. That way, when you need a gift idea, you are ready.
Trust me, this is super helpful.
5. Compliments Are Key
This one sounds like an obvious one, as well. You would be surprised how much that it also fades into the background. Oftentimes, we think we say them when we didn’t. So don’t be stingy with those terms of endearment.
Highlight all of the positive things they do. Compliment them on the dinner they just made for you. Remind them of the things they do that make you feel special.
A compliment doesn’t hurt you to say, but it does do wonders for the person that hears them. Its that simple act that shows your partner that they still mean something to you. That you don’t take them for granted.
4. Couples Questions
This is one that my boyfriend does with me often. At first, I admit it was a little odd. As it progressed, I fell into the importance of it. When we text when we are away from each other, our conversations can get a little quiet. He will fire back to me a question like, “What was the first stuffed animal you had?”
Okay, you are probably thinking that it sounds weird but it allows them to learn something about you they may not have known. Yes, that can even happen if you have been together 20 years.
Not only do they keep the conversation going but it can shed insights into other things to help keep your romance fresh. Throw in questions about favorite things and you get ideas for those little gifts you can leave for them. It has lots of possibilities. Give it a shot
3. Date Night At Home
This one is another favorite. Of course, it helps that my boyfriend is pretty amazing in the kitchen, not that I am a slouch at cooking. One thing we love to do is cook together. If you ask him we don’t do it enough.
The thought is really simple. Pick a favorite recipe and the two of you prepare and cook it together. You can both buy the ingredients for the meal and have one pick out wine that will go with it. Sure, you can say your kitchen is too small for that, but that is one of the fun parts about it, trying to figure how to pull it off.
Then light some candles, sit down with your dinner, and have a real conversation. It allows you to get back to a time when you took one another out to impress them. It is also a fun way to work on how you function as a couple and handle situations. BONUS!
2. Focus on Intimacy
For me, this one is super important. Intimacy is more than sex and has a stronger hold on people. However, it is another one that seems to slip our minds because of all that goes on in our lives. How can you fix that, you ask?
Touch is an amazing thing. If you remember the post I did last week about How I Met My Boyfriend, I included a song by the artist Kehlani called Touch. This was a song that he requested a drag queen perform for me on a visit to New York in 2019. That song talks about how touch is important. The chorus says, “I like it when we talk but I love it when we touch.”
Holding hands, hugging, and cuddling all reinforce human contact and express love in a deeper way. Sex can be amazing but holding the person you love and just talking gives you a sense of security that few other things can.
You may think that this one is a given, but look at your sex life and ask how often do you actually do it. If you are like most couples, you start out all hot and heavy. As time moves along, you get in a routine. Maybe it was a rough day at work or you have a headache or your mother called before bed and ruined the mood. I get it, it happens.
So when was the last time that the two of you just had a hot night of sex?
This article shows 4 Reasons Why Sex Is Good For Your Health. There are also plenty of studies that show sex helps with intimacy with couples, so don’t ever forget the importance of the act.
Also, don’t make this a quickie thing that you do to just get it out of the way. That this just like you did the first times you were intimate. Pay attention to the details, make it a ritual. You can light some candles and put on some sexy music. Maybe start with a slow sensual massage and make sure to include kissing and foreplay. These things help heighten your moods and connection to one another.
It’s All About Communication
Romance is a tender and fragile thing. If the fires are kept stoked, it can be a raging fire that keeps your love strong. Never neglect it or your partner. It’s the little things that matter and help solidify your feelings for them.