Top Ten Bad Couples Costumes

Costumes aren’t just for single peeps. If you’re in a relationship and invited to Halloween parties this time of year, then many will opt for the couples costume. This can even work better if the party has a theme. It forces you both to get creative. There are also tried and true couples costumes out there, as well. We are familiar with the horse costume where one person goes as the head and the other the tail. There are even others like Sid Viscous and Nancy, Jack and Sally, Romeo and Juliet, and many other couples that you can mimic.

Unfortunately, there are hosts of bad costumes out there as well. We’re tricked into them because they look cute, at first. And there are others that you wonder what were those two thinking when the chose that as their costume. It is those bad ideas that we will take a look at. Here is my Top Ten Bad Couples Costumes list to help you navigate away from them. When in doubt, use your creativity and stay away from these bad ideas waiting to happen.

Tiger King and Carole Baskin

10. Yes, I get that this has been the topic of a lot of conversations for the last year or so. This travesty of white trash tele-drama has engrossed so many people that it is not a surprise that someone would want to make a costume out of it. Sure, Joe Exotic is like a walking stereotype with a few husbands, a tiger empire, supposed signer son writer, and was razor sharp to hire an undercover FBI agent to kill his “nemesis,” Carole Baskin. Their real lives are costume enough and should be left to fall into the darkness of reality doldrums.

Avocado Toast

9. Avocado Toast.  When one bad costume isn’t enough, throw them together to create a super  amazingly bad costume. Repetition is funny, right? I mean where did she find that toast costume? It looks like a makeup remover towel by our Confounder in Chief. And his avocado is just a smidge too big for her toast. Wow, I can’t believe I even typed that without falling out my chair laughing.

Chick and Chick Magnet

8. Chick and Chick Magnet. Wah-wah.  While my boyfriend will tell you that I am a king of the Dad Joke, even this one is beneath me. In the wrong minds it could become a cock magnet and she’ll be lost at that party.

The Cloud

7. The Cloud. Okay, I will admit that this is a little cute. If you have to spend the night explaining your costume to everyone then is it worth it? It is already hard enough to try to explain to people what the cloud is. I cant imagine how you would explain wearing feathers and a wig with pictures posted all over you. Maybe I should wear that to work the next time I have to try to explain how the cloud works to my coworkers.

Bun Baker and the Oven

6. Bun Baker and the Oven. Okay we get it, you’re a heterosexual couple who is pregnant. Yay! Let’s celebrate that wtih a really bad dad joke of a costume. The statement “bun in the oven” is already bad enough, why elevate it to a costume that is as bad as the comment? Not to mention having to wear that box of an oven all night means you will not be able to enjoy the party without knocking over the refreshment table, six guests, scaring the pets, and not able to sit down. All this while he gets by with an apron and a chef crown. Chauvinism is alive and well. Woo for you both.

Plug and Socket

5. Plug and Socket. This one refers to two different costumes. First, the old stander plug and wall socket. Second, the newer USB and USB port. Here we are again celebrating Heteronormative sexual relations. It was funny for about three seconds way back when it first came out. Now its just dated and barely laughable. This is a hint to the BF, we are so not doing this costume. Get it out of your head.

Hunter and Hunted

4. Hunter and Hunted. Is this an advertisement for subtle domestic abuse or what? Let’s not even get to the point where it reduces finding someone to be a part of your life as prey. To be hunted and killed. What’s next, stuffing them to hang on the wall. I would rather see the Hunted end up like that scene in the most recent XXX where these hunters were stalking lions on a safari and ended up getting eaten by them. Flip it around and then it will be a cute costume.

Adam and Eve

3. Adam and Eve. I cant even with this costume. His nipple is disturbing. It follows you across the room. Those leaves look uncomfortable. I realize you sometimes have to sacrifice comfort for fashion, but in this case its a fail on both sides. I am actually more curious what it looks like without the leaves covering the Garden of Eden naughty bits.

Grab Them

2. Grab them. Okay, in my last post I pointed out that dressing as Donald Trump for Halloween was wrong. Let’s see how these two took it a step further and enacted the statement “Grab them by the pussy” and made it a costume. Yeah lets showcase sexual assault as a costume for Halloween.  Not just no but hell no.

Necro What?

1.Necro What? It wouldn’t matter if this was with a man or a woman, this is just in bad taste. It’s kind of celebrating, both, rape and desecration of a corpse. Sure, Halloween’s filled with spirits and skeletons but I cant remember any tradition that promotes sex with the dead. This must have come from the disturbed predator in training kit. If you show up to a party and there is a couple dressed like, it is time to leave. Turn around and run don’t walk as fast and far away from that party as you can.

If you need a good costume idea that’s cute and makes people think, take a cute from this couple. Remember that Halloween parties are about fun and a break from the day to day. Just don’t pollute it with bad taste costumes. The internet’s filled with plenty of creative couples costumes that you can choose from. Celebrate a movie you like or anything instead of theses travesties of tormented threads. Have a safe and fun Halloween.

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