Finding My Acceptance

Coming out is a never ending process. Everyday we meet people we may have to come out to. Sometimes that person may be us. We finally realize the path we were on isn’t right for us and its time to evolve, we come out as our true selves finally.

A year and a half ago, I interviewed Arianna Jade Devor for a post on this blog. She contacted me recently to do a follow up and to share where her life has taken her. I felt that with yesterday being National Coming Out Day, sharing her new story was perfect timing.

It was April 17, 2019 when I published a post about you and who you were. Since that time, your presence on social media has changed quite a bit. You even seemed to go dark for a while. What has happened since that time?

I feel like I have grown a lot. In finding acceptance with myself, being more authentic and genuine with who I am. As a transgender woman I used to hide under a mask, living as a male, before I became female. I feel like we all wear one, in one way or another. But just like RuPaul says “If you can’t love yourself how are you gonna love anybody else?” That really resonated with me one day and I realized I had to make some changes. A big one was the over sexuality of my online image. While it’s still there I want to be known for more than that. Not get caught up in the hype of womanizing myself, so people don’t think they have the right to.

What prompted or motivated your change to where you are now?

I am a creator, a god of art, music, and gaming streams. I am a writer and a poet. I found my purpose to serve the world. As an inspiration in life and the power you can have to influence others to be more loving and accepting of themselves, as they are right here right now. Being at one with your higher power and true self is the most intoxicating taste of spirituality, expression, and self discovery.

How do you feel about the Arianna of the earlier article?

Being completely honest and blunt, I think I was  very arrogant. My online image at that time took off due to my work in the adult film industry and I let it get out of control and go to my head. The attention and money are nice but I do have to feel myself back into reality every once in a while. I feel like she just wasn’t prepared for all the attention is all. Now I don’t really pay attention to it. 

Are you still active on any of the channels you were previously?

They’re always on the table to be taken down in my head and I think one day I will. Especially when my love life becomes more stable or as I mature  I could see them being shut down. They are still around if someone looked hard enough….for now.

What lessons have you learned from where you were at in comparison to now?

I learned to fill my soul rather than my hole, not to be punny. I have really just stopped giving a fuck about people who don’t give a fuck or if they do I don’t. (Did you follow that?) I used to be a major critic of myself and now I’ll walk to the store no makeup and in sweatpants. That used to be something that would cause me a lot of unnecessary anxiety. To always be perfect is impossible. Accept that.

Do you feel that our culture puts too much emphasis on sexuality and gender norms? If so, how?

Hell yeah, look at every music video ever. Essentially and subliminally selling us sex or telling us what’s ok or not ok. I have a degree in marketing and media and we really don’t realize how our time becomes revenue for advertisers. From the moment we wake up to the moment we sleep, subliminally programming us. Women must do this and men that. Girls wear pink and  boys blue. Whoever says boys can’t wear pink didnt see Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) at the 2020 VMAs, he looked sexy! I have never really given into what’s normal because I’m so open minded. That’s only because growing up I was surrounded by closed minded individuals.

It seems, from the time of the first article, that you have moved to a new residence. Was this part of the change that has brought you to where you are today?

I like to tell people we all live in a bird cage, I just chose to make sure mine has a good view. I’m a very private person as far as the exact location, for safety.

Giesha Davis from Britain’s Got Talent with Arianna

How has the Covid pandemic affected your journey?

I’ve been working on a British horror independent film while traveling during Covid. My co-star is a long time friend, artist, and Britain’s Got Talent’s own, Giesha Davis. We have been collaborating on a movie on how the pandemic drives us into insanity. She lives in London so the time difference works in our favor for editing. It’s gonna be super dark and twisted. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even acting. I’ve taken on my role so seriously. It’s been great to be apart of such a fun project knowing it’s going to be aired in the UK at a film festival in both London and Italy, after it’s all done. I’m looking forward to seeing our reviews from other artists.

On a different topic. In what seems an environment that is increasingly transphobic, especially with remarks from authors like JK Rowling. Where do you find your strength and what words can you give to others who may be struggling with all that’s going on?

Be yourself, fuck anyone else! 

You’re going to be hated in the world. you can’t stop it but that won’t compare with how well you’re liked. Don’t give up because they say you can’t. Don’t stop believing because they say your dreams aren’t worth achieving. These people only want you below them so you don’t rise up past them. Keep moving forward. God has a plan. 

If you could say anything to any of your past selves, what would you say and to which one?

I would’ve told the younger male me to stop pleasing people because it doesn’t make you happy. I was doing a lot to try and have people accept me who never will.

One thing can be said, Arianna is on a mission to move beyond where she was. She refuses to be bound my the limitations of a world that believes all people should be in a box. She makes it seem that boundaries are just way points on your journey to being a better you.

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